If you are Chinese-American or have similar experiences, please share your views below.

After settling in the United States for quite some time, I have unconsciously adapted the local customs (like how they say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”). Cultural differences have started to blur, and I do not think much about them anymore. After all, having lived in China for many years and now walking along American streets, I still get to see my parents from China who visit me. But after staying for a certain period, my parents would get lonely; as they do not know how to speak in English. They especially wish to chat with fellow Chinese. When I speak to them, I get snippets of information that one can not find in the Internet. Their observations to the American lifestyle remind me that cultural differences between living in China and the United States are, in fact, everywhere.

Glass Doors

When Dad and Mom came to the United States, they did not lack in praises for the house. Everyone has their own bedrooms; the kitchen has a big refrigerator; there is a front yard, a backyard, and garage; and there are many bathrooms–all convenient and comfortable. However, they were not used to the glass doors at the first floor. My mom, who is from southern China, is worried what if someone breaks open the glass doors. I would explain to her: in the last decade, there has been no such thing happening in this small district. And if someone does break-in, what would they steal? Everything is insured so the loss will not be that great. (The only steal-able item is the laptop, but it is not as if the contents are very important.)

Anyway, breaking-in is a serious crime in the United States. So there is not a lot of these people who are so desperate that they would break-in homes, especially in small cities. No matter how I explained it to her, she can not seem to be satisfied with my answer.

Large-Size Beverages

When I brought Dad and Mom to eat in the fast food joints, whether it be in McDonald’s or KFC, they see that refilling drinks is always for free. They do not really go to fast food joints–this concept of free refill is so new to them. They could not understand why Americans would still order the large-size drinks if they could refill their cups for free. The prices of medium and large drinks do not vary that much. But for the small cups, there is a cost difference of 39 to 49 cents (USD). Or maybe is that Americans are too lazy that they find refilling to be too bothersome? This is not quite right though. Fast food drinks are easily obtained outside the counter. You can get as many as you want. I have not really thought about this as I always get the free water whenever I eat at fast foods. I also do not ask other people about this.

A Chinese friend told me a story which might help me understand how Americans think. He and his American girlfriend ate at a restaurant. Girlfriend wants to drink English tea (which my Chinese friend has never tried before). He was curious, so he tried it and found out that adding milk and sugar to his tea is not bad tasting at all. Adding more water to tea is free of course. So he drank cupfuls more. His girlfriend find it embarrassing to explain to him that what he is doing is not exactly fair. If he wants to drink more tea, he should buy another cup. My friend’s observation is that there are Americans who take advantage of the free refills, but there are only a few of them.

Holiday Gift-giving

Gift-giving during holidays is very common in the United States. But Dad and Mom found out that gift-giving is not the same in China and the United States. They said, the gift-giving tradition here is that you give gifts to the people with low incomes such as the school bus drivers, the janitors, the office staff, etc. They do not give gifts to the ones in higher position. And the gifts are not on the expensive side, mostly gift certificates worth USD15-20 or a box of chocolates. Neighbors also exchange gifts like homemade cakes and USD10-bottle of wines.

I explained to them that gift-giving in the United States is done mostly to express thanks. The Chinese also have this saying, 礼轻情意重, meaning little gifts could have profound meanings. Anyway, why would you give gifts to those with higher salaries or higher position than you are? It would be weird, and they will likewise feel it to be unnatural. If you give gifts due to self-interest, it would not really solve the problem. You can not really decide the fate of something though an action alone. In other words, the power of the American superior is actually very limited. Giving gifts to solve a problem might make your relationship complicated resulting in an awkward situation between the two of you. I also feel this explanation is not enough. But having no experience working in the United States makes it difficult to say how the American boss and employee relationship works.

Greeting Strangers

Dad has this habit of exercising on the lawn, doing his daily Tai Chi. People would stop by and say hi to him like old friends. He would ask, you just moved in recently yet how come a lot of people know you already? I would then answer that it is pretty normal for strangers to just greet each other here. After that, Dad no longer practices Tai Chi outside, exercising at the back instead.

Another time, Dad and I were driving along the highway when the car suddenly broke down. Many drivers stopped by to try to offer assistance. Dad thought that it was weird many would show concern. But I have already been accustomed to this attitude.

Adopting Children With Disabilities

Dad and Mom were most surprised with a family raising five kids with disabilities. This family lives at the end of our street. What shocked my parents was that how they can take care of that many kids and all of them with varying levels of disabilities at that (and lastly, all of them coming from Vietnam). It is difficult to raise one healthy child, what more with a child who has disabilities (and make that five of them)?

I did not ponder too deeply on this question anymore as I know a lot of American families living in the same situation. One of my work colleagues, together with his wife, adopted two “black” kids. One of them is five years old and before the adoption, they already knew beforehand that he is a special child. Another kid is 14 years old who is suffering from diabetes. That kid has been to several foster families thus collecting not a few bad habits along the way. By the way, my colleague and his wife are “white” and just in their 30s. Because they have adopted these two children, they have also thought about having their own child. Last week, my colleague told me his wife is pregnant. Dad and Mom are always skeptical when I tell them these stories. Maybe I should take them to my colleague.

One of the themes of the US Pavilion is the involvement of Chinese-Americans in the society of the United States. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton highlights this in her opinion-editorial piece at Global Times.

She mentions both the more famous ones…

One of the most moving exhibits they will find there is dedicated to the millions of Chinese-Americans who have contributed so much to the cultural and economic development of the United States. From Yo-Yo Ma to I.M. Pei to my Cabinet colleagues Commerce Secretary Gary Locke and Energy Secretary Steven Chu, Chinese-Americans have achieved great success in business, government, the arts and sciences.

…and the rest of the Chinese-Americans in general.

But at the US Pavilion, we also celebrate the lives and contributions of all the Chinese- Americans whose names are unlikely to ever end up in the newspapers. Thousands of them have sent photographs and testimonials documenting the Chinese experience in the US, parents and children, teachers and students, small business owners and hardworking professionals – a true pageant of American life.

Probably the largest cultural group in the world are the Chinese. This is because an indication of cultural survival is the continued use of traditional language and dialects, and Mandarin has the largest number of native speakers in the world. You would be surprised to know that English ranks only third.

Joy Luck Club

The Chinese diaspora began many years ago. This mass emigration mainly occurred in the 19th century to 1949 due to harsh lifestyles and political unrest in the Mainland. Many of these oversease Chinese have established themselves in specialized industries in the places they are residing. For example, Southeast Asian Chinese have made a name for themselves in the field of business. And like Clinton mentioned, Chinese-Americans (generally North American Chinese) are known in the arts, academics, and sciences.

However, the one thing I noticed is that even with this worldwide diaspora, the Chinese relate to each other more in terms of ethnicity rather than nationality. For example, one is not just an American. Even if you are not ethnic Chinese (meaning you are “mixed-blood”), you are still Chinese-American. Think “Joy Luck Club”. [This is my observation only from my interactions. Feel free to contradict.]

Going back to Hillary Clinton, it’s interesting to note how she bridged the Sino-American relations through their people (and emphasized heavily on it in fact). In one of the videos showing inside the US Pavilion, she described the United States of America as a “nation of immigrants”. I wonder how other mass-Chinese-immigrated countries are taking this topic (or if they are taking it at all) especially that the main visitor to their pavilions are the native Chinese themselves.

But then, I think this has also something to do with how assimilated a Chinese-[insert nationality] is with their surrounding Chinese community and China. Intermarriages are common in the United States whereas maintaning a communal identity among themselves is still regarded as important in other overseas Chinese communites.

Aside from the architecture-and-learning-from-each-other’s-culture publicity, the World Expo can be seen like a Chinese homecoming of sorts. It is when the younger generation touches down to their ethnic roots and discover more about themselves.

Last year, I read about the homeland tours where Chinese orphanage adoptees from the United States are encouraged to come to China so that they could simply connect to their “homeland”.

That term again–”homeland”. What is home and homeland? Relative terms which I think are subject to debate.

According to Jenny, China doesn’t have a “cool factor” in the United States, despite often being in the news. It is stuck at a “niche” level, dominated by business, teaching English, and Chinese language learning because these are still the predominant reasons for why people come to China. People don’t come to China because it is “cool,” but rather because something needs to be done here. So, Jenny asks, how do we create buzz for China?

We need to “brand” China, she says. As one member of the audience later said, the current China “brand” is essentially all the “negative news” about China. By “branding” China, Jenny seems to be mean that we need uncover and deliver China’s “cool” to outside audiences. Toward this end, Jenny wants to tap into Chinese pop culture, and bridge it with the pop culture elsewhere, specifically the United States and thus create a “cross-border youth market.”  Yet, while this is where she says it must start, she believes pop culture is often in its own bubble, thus necessitating a “disruptive” force. This force needs to active and not passive, like merely importing a pop star and holding concerts. By active, she wants “engagement” from both sides.

This engagement, Jenny believes, will involve a lot of technology and creative ideas. One idea? Launching a virtual event such as a “ridiculously viral competition, something ridiculous but hasn’t been done before” between the youth in China and the United States. She’d keep the competitors amongst their own initially, “where they are most comfortable”, and then presumably bring them together. How? One way would be to record these competitions and allow both sides to watch each other over the internet.

In discussion with the audience, Jenny agreed that language is a major barrier and therefore believes it needs to be “visual”, also agreeing with audience members who suggested art, fashion, “looks”, etc. Music too could work. For Jenny, the “cool” in China already exists in its people, but it is a question of bringing it out, building the community around it, and ostensibly integrating that “cool” into a cross-border consciousness.

Some more interesting feedback from the audience:

• Japan seems to have more “cachet” than China. Why is this? Is it because Americans and American companies have appropriated Japanese concepts (ex. Gwen Stefani)? Can we export Chinese concepts to America?
• Maybe China isn’t interested in exporting its culture (pop or otherwise)?
• Pop culture takes time to develop, building upon layers of itself. Is there Chinese pop culture to export at all?
• Should we let it develop and evolve without the intercultural aspects Jenny suggests?
• There is innovation in China,  but how do we make it “cool” to Americans? What is it about China that we can brand, export, sell to America?