October 1, 2009. Thursday. National Day. The People’s Republic of China’s 60th anniversary. I woke up in time to catch the flag-raising ceremony, at 10:00am. Soldiers marched towards a pole, a flag went up, and a big show was performed, a show so dominated by its rehearsed precision that the only interesting moment was when PRC President Hu Jintao paused long enough to be captured on camera being normal as he beheld a column of fashionably dressed female soldiers…in pink, was it?
Halfway through the procession of soldiers and military hardware, I fell back asleep. I’d wake up intermittently to catch glimpses I honestly didn’t care too much to remember. All the speeches, tributes, and pledges towards socialism and communism were bullshit that few Chinese genuinely subscribe to. However, their pride in the event and celebration overall cannot and should not be dismissed. Lip-service was paid as required or expected, but the significance of the event had whatever value one individually ascribed to it…and there was plenty for the Chinese to be genuinely and rightfully proud of. Sure, it was a party for the Party, but we co-op parties to celebrate ourselves and whatever we want…all the time.
The rest of my day was spent indoors lounging about as the rain fell moderately hard outside here in Shanghai. Aside from occasional jaunts online to check my e-mail or RSS reader, it would be a lazy day, a rarity amongst my usually frantic “there-is-never-enough-time” days. Online, people were writing about the parade and “goose-stepping” seemed to be the mot du jour. Others were getting themselves angry about the Empire State Building. Offline, I ate, ignored the television, and nursed what I still haven’t decided as being a cold or allergies.
Night eventually fell and despite a good dinner, gluttony reared its head and I hankered for some Coca-Cola. Not the kind that comes in a can or a bottle, but the kind from a fountain, freshly mixed from syrup concentrate and carbonated water, with ice. A McDonald’s fountain would do and there was one down the block. The rain had stopped, and walking out in the cool night air alone was refreshing.
I crossed the street in hopes of finding the usual shao kao vendor, one who would have an assortment of kebabs or skewers or chuanr arrayed before you to pick and him to cook. No shao kao vendor tonight, it seemed, only a street cook couple with their cart integrated with a gas range. Plastic stools and fold-out tables were placed around them, where people sat and ate the dishes they ordered from the vendor.
I love scenes like this, especially when there’s a gang of guys sitting around late at night, dining on assorted dishes, swilling back beer, smoking some cigarettes, and laughing. You wonder where they came from just before and what the rest of the night bodes for them. Probably not much, no bars, nightclubs, KTVs, massage parlours, or saunas for them. They’ll probably walk home together and crash, content with the moment of simple camaraderie shared. They may not have a lot of money, they may not have impressive jobs, but they enjoy life all the same.
Heading down the block towards McDonalds, I hoped to find another shao kao street vendor there. At the end of the block, I turned a corner and beheld a scene of street peddlers with their wares splayed out across the sidewalk or hung up on the guardrails and fences. Even near midnight with most of the streets empty, this street still had some young girls and women strolling by with their eyes scanning for a trinket, a pair of shoes, a new belt, or an article of clothing that might bring them that tiny bit of use or tiny bit of pleasure. There would have been far more people out earlier in the night, as this is one of the various streets in the city known for nightly congregations of unlicensed vendors and young people, couples or singles, strolling through for the bustling re nao atmosphere. It’s a date, or a night out. The girls are fashionable — not haute couture Bund glamourous — but fashionable enough for their age and economic class…and the guys travel in packs.
The backdrops are different but the phenomenon so familiar. Oh, it may be dirty and uncouth but they’re making do with what they have, and they have plenty really. They’re fulfilling the same needs and desires, living their lives. You look into each one of their faces and you’ll find a story…if you’re human enough. If you’re willing.
I’m reminded of a scene several nights ago, riding my bike back home from the gym, passing by two middle-aged men, probably in their 40-50s, sitting alone on the curb together, again nearing midnight, with nary a pedestrian around on such a big boulevard. One looked like a bao an security guard, his arms folded over his knees, his head hung and resting on his forearm, his face hidden. The other, to his right, looked to be a street cleaner, wearing a dirty orange jumpsuit, and he had his arm around the security guard. He looked to be comforting him in a sort of silence and helplessness that can only be found amongst men.
I zipped by.
I’ll never know what exactly happened to them there. What was the security guard saddened about? Was he even sad, in grief? Was the street cleaner a friend? Was he really comforting him? Did the arm around him mean anything at all? I couldn’t see their faces, but I felt, for a brief enduring moment, a connection to them. Despite our many differences, whether in class or circumstance, both real and imaginary, I could imagine myself in either of their shoes, feeling sorry for myself and feeling sorry for a friend…for whatever reason because whatever reason is important enough.
Fast-forward back to tonight and I am walking back from buying my late-night snacks a block down. Passing by a bus stop, I see a middle-aged woman, dark and wrinkled with the wear of the years, sitting down asleep with her knees up in a dark alcove next to a closed KFC, a lone unattended mop and bucket inside the locked entrance waiting for the late-night cleaner to finish the job. Who was this lady and why was she out here alone? She didn’t seem to have much with her, but she could still pass for a homeless person taking tired refuge for the night wherever refuge can be found. What other explanation is there, at this hour with the streets this empty?
You never really know but again, a story in every face. A story in the faces of young men drinking REEB, of young women in black stockings holding up a new top displayed from a metal railing, of old men consoling one another on cold concrete sidewalks, and of old women resting wearily underneath lonely overhangs. How often do we find these stories in these people? How often are we content to settle for stories aggregated, packaged, and titled “China” and “Chinese”? How often do we care too much for the stories that are really about us and how we see ourselves instead of the stories about them and how, yes, we see them? And when do we feel not just sympathy but empathy, not just an observation but a connection?
Late late nights, and early early mornings, are some of the best moments to truly discover a city, its inhabitants, and giving yourself a chance to get that much closer. Maybe it is the relative quiet, or the relative solitude. Maybe it changes your perceptions. Or maybe you just pay attention more, for some strange, inexplicable, reason.
Images: AP, Pawel Maciejewski, and 高仓健
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A breakdown of day-to-day living expenses suggests it’s very difficult for most urban Chinese & near-impossible for expats to live on 100 RMB/week. But per day?
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An introduction to the bunch of China bloggers based in Shanghai who met up for drinks and lively conversation, and a review of the shenanigans they were up to.
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Chinese people share their experiences of Han (China’s ethnic majority) discriminating against Tibetans or Uighurs (ethnic minorities). One offers a solution.
Can Expats Live In China On 100 RMB/week? 100 RMB/day? 
Shanghai Blogger Summit: Not To Be Outdone By Beijing Bloggers 
Stories Of Han Discrimination & Prejudice In Tibet & Xinjiang 
“Hu Jintao paused long enough to be captured on camera being normal …Halfway through the procession of soldiers and military hardware, I fell back asleep.”
Both human after all.
“Online, ‘people’ were writing about the parade”
I think that particular contribution was worthy of a couple of superlatives at least.
“You never really know but again, a story in every face.”
Absolutely. Everyday snapshots of life in China evoke such contemplations like no other country I’ve visited.
I like this personal stuff.
The three pictures are amazing. Poetic and beautiful, especially the last two.
I’ve experienced similar feelings while living in Shanghai and Beijing. What I find simultaneously intriguing and vexing about these strangers’ lives is the extent to which I’m disconnected from them. Were I from Shanghai, then there might at least be some sort of indirect connection, some point at which my life intersects with the lives of others on the streets at night. There is absolutely a story behind every face, but how discouraging is it to be left marveling at the covers, without even getting to peer at a page inside? At least, it’s nice to read this thoughtfully composed piece of your story.
Alia,
LoL, I don’t think simply being from the same city will be much of a connection, even if indirect. I think what I’m trying to get at is the empathy we can and should feel simply trying to imagine the story behind their faces, their covers. Simply being able to do so is a connection, a human one. And if that connection isn’t satisfying enough, perhaps our vexing feelings will push us to approach them and ask them to open up their book for us, for us to become part of their lives, and them our’s. Isn’t this the nature of friendship and true understanding? First, the desire to know more?
Kai Pan,
I like your way of looking at it – I think I’ll adopt your perspective!
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
“They’ll probably walk home together and crash, content with the moment of simple camaraderie shared”
I’ve watched plenty of these groups of guys, while stumbling home in their drunken “camaraderie”, stop and harass the girls in the pink shops along the road (I mean HARASS). I’ll reserve my empathy for someone who I’ve got more knowledge of than a momentary glance.
Zuo Ai,
Thanks for sharing your experiences. While not explicit in my post, I’ve watched many of these groups of guys happily walking home, without being drunk, without harassing anyone, and simply enjoying the “camaraderie” they shared. This is why I say “probably” on the basis of my cumulative experiences and observations. You sharing that you’ve seen otherwise is not exclusive of what I’ve seen and represented, nor would me saying that I’ve seen plenty of foreigners in China behaving as you accuse Chinese guys of behaving be false either. However, my point here wasn’t to bash the Chinese, was it?
Well it just so happens that my cumulative observations and experiences have been otherwise, so my first thoughts would be “they’ll probably harass someone on their way home, if not right there from their stools.” The Chinese bit comes into play just cause your talking about Shanghai in general, where IMO drunk groups of guys leads to the same crap it does most other places.
Zuo Ai,
Your cumulative observations and experiences may indeed be otherwise, but I’d wager your memory is selective. Even absent my own observations and experiences, I find it very difficult to rationally conclude that so many Chinese guys constantly and consistently harass people simply after having a few beers while sharing a meal on the street late at night. But hey, maybe you just have bad luck…or selective memory.
Oic, well right back at ya with the whole “selective memory” bit, which I guess is what I was getting at to begin with.
Zuo Ai,
LoL, so suggesting that a group of Chinese guys probably enjoy hanging out with each other is “selective memory?” More so than suggesting that groups of Chinese guys consistently “HARASS” girls in pink shops enough for you to characterize it as what groups of Chinese guys are more likely to do? Interesting. I didn’t know such behavior was so prevalent that my observations and suggestion is relegated to the minority group of exceptions for one to “selectively” remember.
How sad it is for you to be unable to imagine groups of Chinese guys just chillin’, that anyone suggesting that groups of Chinese guys simply hang out compels you to stand up and declare “no, they don’t just hang out, they’re going to harass people!!! That’s what Chinese guys do!”
Do you feel better about yourself denying Chinese guys their innocent camaraderie and, I dunno, “setting the record straight” or something, lest all the readers of CNR mistakenly let groups of Chinese guys get away with harassing people regularly on their way home after sitting on plastic stools dining on street food?
Wow, take a breath man. I wasn’t suggesting anything in particular about Chinese guys, more like groups of guys out drinking together. And where as I am fully capable of imagining groups of guys just chillin together over some beers, and as CRAZY as it may sound, my experience with that sort of group (through observation/ firsthand/ whatever else), has led me to view said groups with a grain of emphatic salt.
All I was offering by commenting was that that is my point of view on the matter. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with their ethnicity, that is something that you keep dragging into this like a butthurt red guard. The pink shop was just a solid example to help illustrate my point of view, do I really have to start adding PC prefaces to my comments? I was talking about empathizing with people we know little to nothing about.
My point, and its a cynical one I’ll admit, is that empathy can sometimes lead us to have idealized images of people, which sometimes have nothing to do with reality. When I see some of the same scenes you’ve described here, I honestly feel differently than what you described feeling. I feel like I have felt like that in the past, but I rarely do today. That’s why I said “I’ll reserve my empathy for someone who I’ve got more knowledge of than a momentary glance.”
But go ahead, turn this into me attacking Chinese manhood or some such crap.
Zuo Ai,
Ethnicity comes into play because this is a group of Chinese guys you’re feeling compelled to take a grain of salt with. Yes, I am accusing you of being disingenuous with your defense here, suggesting that it is something you’d think about “all” groups of guys but I find such a thought to be incredibly odd short of you having traumatic childhood memories of groups of guys harassing you, your sister, your mother, or your grandmother or something.
Who the hell automatically thinks groups of guys hanging out = harassing of people? I sure as hell don’t. I think of guys enjoying hanging out with each other, as friends, sharing “camaraderie”.
You may indeed have a twisted cynical mind that has nothing to do with ethnicity, as you’re claiming now, but I’ll go with the more likely explanation that ethnicity played a role in your comment. Imagine, for a moment, if I had remarked about a group of black guys hanging out, and someone comes along and feels compelled to point out that they’ve seen plenty of these types of guys go on to carjack someone on their way home. You wouldn’t find this comment to be offensive?
No one is asking you to have empathy for harassing people or carjacking people. I’m asking you if you can empathize with people, just like you, enjoying their friends’ camaraderie. If you can see what they enjoy as something you too enjoy, you’re that much closer to seeing them as human like yourself. No one is asking you to have idealized images of anyone, just identifiable ones. No one is asking you to idealize the Chinese, but to entertain what may connect them with you.
Instead, you had to maintain your distance and difference from them, even a sense of superiority over them, by postulating that, unlike you, they’re about to go harass people.
You felt compelled to offer your point of view on the matter. I’m compelled to offer my point of view on this one.
“Who the hell automatically thinks groups of guys hanging out = harassing of people?”
- Me
Most times when I am out and about with a group of guys, accompanied by my old friend Jack (or some relative of his), yeah, we tend to end up harassing somebody at least once.
So if you’re really asking if I can empathize with someone “just like” me, a guy who routinely tries to pick fights but usually ends up punching inanimate objects when thoroughly sloshed, then yeah, you are asking me to empathize with the harassers and maybe even(don’t remember but possible), carjackers. I dunno, maybe I actually do identify with them in some way, but it isn’t the warm and fuzzy way depicted in your article.
And explicitly calling me a liar wasn’t really necessary, it’s been pretty obvious you’ve felt that way since you started dragging ethnicity into a conversation not at all aimed in that direction (yeah yeah I know, u still don’t believe me). But the truth is, this is the internet. I really don’t give a rat’s ass about coming off as racist or insensitive or whatever, this is all anon, so who cares anyway?
My main reason for replying in depth to your claims is sort of to defend myself, but not about the racist knock, (cordially put “ethnicity played a role in your comment”), but because I’m dumbfounded that you were so quick to assume my comment just HAD to come from some ethnic standpoint. I have felt like you’ve misunderstood both the content and spirit of my post, so I started replying. Another reason, it has been kinda fun. I check my e-mail, and then ask myself “how is Kai Pan gonna drag ethnicity into the conversation again?” U seem so hell bent on it in fact, that you’ve turned to a 5000 yr. old stratagem of high minded discourse, the deadly “liar liar pants on fire!”
What can I say, you got me, I hate Chinese people. I’m actively involved in a plot in which I will ignite chaos across the PRC under the guise of “democratic reform.” My friends and family all frequent “white only” clubs in the French Concession. How oh how did you ever see through my ruse?
Zuo Ai,
That was kinda obvious, don’t you think? It was a rhetorical question. I know you think such, otherwise you wouldn’t have expressed such, would you? The point now is to examine why you’re so quick to jump to such conclusions that I find largely unsupported by a rational consideration of, well, the world.
So I wasn’t too far off from the whole childhood trauma thing? So, you and your buddies behave as such and project or expect others to behave like yourself. Fine, that’s quite understandable. On a most basic level, I’m doing the same thing. My buddies and I don’t do such things and thus I don’t automatically assume that’s what other groups of guys do. On a higher level though, I still honestly can’t imagine why you’d surmise that groups of guys are more likely to harass people than not.
But hey, you said you’re cynical and an angry drunk.
You’re still here defending your honor, aren’t you?
The “don’t be so sensitive” defense? That’s surely been around just as long as my supposed “5000 yr. old stratagem”? Speaking of “5000 year old”, is that a random number or ;) was that ethnically inspired as well?
Whether or not you hate Chinese people, are involved in plots, or attend “white only” clubs in the French Concession is irrelevant to me. I didn’t accuse you of those things. I accused your comment as being contemptuous and prejudiced. You insist it is because you’re a cynical guy who himself routinely goes around harassing people (perhaps those girls in pink shops?) and thus think that’s the logical thing to think of whenever one sees a group of Chinese guys dining out in the open air on plastic stools and fold-out tables. I insist that’s an extreme assumption to make about said Chinese guys because while it surely can and does happen, I’m not surrounded by an environment where it happens so often that it becomes the “likely” assumption to make. I’m sorry your personal lifestyle, friends’ behavior, and surroundings have caused you to think otherwise.
Or maybe you have selective memory and are at least a wee bit prejudiced. We all are, aren’t we? Different people just keep it in check to different degrees.
Kai, lets say I was in China and and I saw a group of young people in a bar in China playing dice. I’d immediately think that they were looking for a one night stand. The fact that they are Chinese would be relevant but not crucial in my thinking process. I certainly wouldn’t base my opinion on racial bias. Yet if this article was about your recollection of a nightclub scene, it seems like something you would would accuse me of doing based on your reaction to Zuo Ai’s comment.
I dont quite understand the reason why would feel that Zuo Ai was attaching racial connotations to what he perceives to be his opinion. Is it because the ‘guys’ he was referring to related to the ethnicity of the subjects mentioned in your article? Failing to understand that people have different perceptions than you is quite ignorant. It’s like assuming all people are honest simply because you are honest, the world doesnt work that way.
Oa personal note, I feel that you are being overly sentimental in your article. Regarding a relevant quote from Zuo Ai:
- I can’t really fault this paragraph. If anything, I feel that it was a very sincere post which actually highlights how nostalgia may affect ones recollection of events at a point in time. More or less, it is a personal opinion. It also touches on ZA’s personal mental maturity in becoming more critical of things that may appear to be simple on the surface. He even admits to his own cynicism. What could you possibly disagree with here?
Charles,
I can see the implicating that guys at a nightclub are looking for action, but I don’t see how guys eating on the streets are looking to harass people.
I think “pink shops” is fairly unique to China. I also think he was directly responding to my anecdote about Chinese friends eating together on the streets. Since you must have read the entire exchange already, he did later argue that he’s just a cynical guy that often harasses people himself with his group of friends. I granted that may be true, but I’m not going to lie and say I don’t suspect a measure of prejudice behind his initial comments. This isn’t being ignorant. This is being honest.
I think it was obvious that I found such scenes to be interesting in making us think about what is going on in other people’s lives. If you feel I’m being “overly sentimental”, that’s your freedom as it is Zuo Ai’s freedom to be cynical and my freedom to read his “cynicism” as prejudice.
No one is asking you to. I’m wasn’t faulting it either.
What made you think I was disagreeing with anything in that paragraph?
Yes, or I could be right. You don’t have to agree with me though.
Please, Charles, do you have any other tricks? What’s going to stop me from accusing you of the same? Seriously? What is it about me that keeps bringing you back?
It is amusing that some people apparently dislike me enough from my internet comments alone to spend their time stalking me on the internet. This would now officially include you, Charles, but not Zuo Ai (unless Zuo Ai is just another nickname for one of my trolls). You guys go out of your way to find something to disagree with me, harass me, and try to put me down with pithy insults. It is ridiculous how much power I have over your lives simply by existing.
- Kai, I neither dislike nor stalk you. Believe it or not, I find some of the articles on CN reviews to be thoroughly entertaining. In fact this is probably the first time I’ve visted your site for weeks. I was tempted by the article mentione by http://www.bendilaowai.com/?tag=china-smack. And when I saw the artciels about side street snacks, how could I resist clicking in :)
- Don’t flatter yourself Kai. Believe it or not, theres more to my life than harassing or disagree with you, let alone your existence. But wait, you already knew that… was this was another petty comeback?? :)
Honestly, I didn’t even know this was your article until I clicked on it. Although I must say that it is quite entertaining to watch you argue with everyone with what I perceive to be arguments generally based 30% on substance and 70% on semantics. You won’t agree with me but neither do I care. I just couldn’t help dropping a comment since I’ve got a little spare time being a Friday and all.
Charles,
Oh, Charles, you silly goat.
I don’t have to flatter myself, Charles. You guys do it so well by repeatedly living up to my expectations. It’s not a petty comeback to put one’s trolls in a mentally dissonant conundrum between satisfying their petty impulses to insult me and proving me right. But you already know that, right? Right?
Speaking of petty comebacks…wow.
“Argue with everyone”, eh, Charles? Does it bother you when someone agrees with me? What was that quote…? Oh right, here it is: “Failing to understand that people have different perceptions than you is quite ignorant. It’s like assuming all people are honest simply because you are honest, the world doesnt work that way.” (How ironic that you would say such a thing before proceeding to argue for Zuo Ai’s cynicism.)
You obviously care enough to pro-actively attack me and respond twice to my defenses. Will you make it a third time? You know, since you’ve got some spare time and all?
Weeeeeee…. I can use big words to say ‘Gotcha! I knew my stupid comments could induce you to respond. So I’m A troll? Cute…:)
Me, petty come back? Why never ^^
Uh uh Kai… Remember, the devil is in the details :) First of all, nobody is agreeing with you here. Second of all, I wasn’t rejecting your perception or even praising his ; I was criticising your narrowmindedness.
Sure honey.. I’ve got another two hours to procastinate until I finish work. Theres no fun beating a dead donkey. However messing with you head is quite an entertaining way to pass time :)
Oh Charles, I knew you’d come back! And now you’re making fun of my vocabulary! Yes, Charles, you’re a troll.
Agreeing with me on what? Who’re the “everyone” I’m arguing with? The devil IS in the details, Charles.
No, you were explaining why you don’t understand my perception and then suggested that I didn’t just disagree with Zuo Ai’s perception but rather failed to understand it, which you suggested was me being ignorant. You didn’t praise his perception but you accused me of disagreeing with a paragraph I didn’t disagree with. You’re not criticizing my narrow-mindedness, you’re showing your disagreement and dislike of me with repeated insults.
Remember what I said about…
“some people apparently dislike me enough from my internet comments alone to spend their time stalking me on the internet. This would now officially include you, Charles …You guys go out of your way to find something to disagree with me, harass me, and try to put me down with pithy insults. It is ridiculous how much power I have over your lives simply by existing.”
You see, given that this is partially my blog, I have a reason for responding to people like you. I’ve given you some deference by not outright deleting your comments when it became clear that you’re coming back just to spend your time trolling me. That’s going to change. Charles, it’s fun and all, but I respected your request that I not make public your “private” emails to me. Don’t tempt me to change my mind because I have absolutely zero qualms or shame with not keeping my promises with people who disrespect my goodwill. Go do something more productive with your spare time instead of vandalizing my blog.
Wow…Kai,
I’ve been following your essays and perspectives here at CN Reviews for several months now. Admittedly, this is the first encounter I’ve had with something from you this stylized, this intimate, this delectably reflective…I don’t know if it’s the evening hour in rain-swept Prague, or the fact that you’ve peppered in some moody, black & white stilllifes which enhance the overall mood your words seem to conjure up here, but I — for one — feel fortunate there was a break in the Chinese national holiday calendar, ideal conditions which created the sensational conditions for this positively prosaic gem.
Given the mostly political nature of the blog, this was like a breath a fresh air. How often do we get to revel in something so positive? ::: Not complaining about the content of the site — it’s what keeps us young, but heaping kudos on this effort. :::
Saluting you from Prague, always,
ADM
Agree, Kai, please keep writing “intimate” and “delectably reflective” prose. I enjoyed it greatly as well.