About China blogosphere, travel, and entrepreneurship

To many a Westerner (especially to this Swiss-Chinese), one Chinese characteristic that we may have some trouble getting over is this characteristic known as qianxu (谦虚), or the art of being humble. You can be special, knowing 10 languages, heading up 2 communities, and knowing all Beijing Subway exits off by heart — heck, you might even be the only guy in the loop who knows that the closest thing to Clapham Common station on the Tube is Zhichunli station on the up-and-coming Line 10 — but you’re supposed to keep that all to yourselves!

Or nearly, that is. Being special is OK in China. It’s the way you express it. Let’s say that yours truly started out a conversation by saying: “My name is David Feng, I’m the President of this and that user group, I know all Subway stations off by heart, I know how to say “hi” in Rhaeto-Rumansh, and when my friend from the Netherlands was talking on the phone in Dutch, I knew what she was on about.” And you’ve only begun.

In the West, you’d be considered a living miracle. In China, though, you’d have come close to — or even have already — crossed the fine line that is qianxu.

In China, the moment you’re praised, you’re instead supposed to go, “Oh, my Latin isn’t that good” or “Now you’ve made my face red!”. The following sample conversation shows how someone who knows Qianxu 101 would respond:

Chinese 1: “Let me introduce John to you, who’s from the US. John knows 5 languages, and has been President of Chamber of Commerce…”
Chinese 2: “Oh my God! You are so brilliant…”
John: “Na li na li” (哪里哪里 — litearlly meaning “where, where”)
Chinese 1: “…and is a whiz kid on the piano. He knows Mozart off by heart…”
Chinese 2: “…you are a genius!”
John: Nah, actually I’m not that good on the piano…

Our fictional John would have handled that qianxu bit very well. The “na li na li” bit, by the way, has no real meaning, but is often used to “smooth” or to “dampen” the talk and is absolutely crucial to many a conversation where you’ve got to be qianxu.

Cut to the chase, being qianxu means that you consider yourself “inferior” (although not really) even if you do happen to know, say, 10 languages. This way, you’re seen as not all that “big”, and this, in fact, makes you more approachable.

So is qianxu good or bad? In fact, qianxu is good as it kind of puts you on a “lower” or more “equal” playing field. However, another school of thought is of the opinion that qianxu is not “实事求是” (shi shi qiu shi, which comes close to meaning “realistic”) enough, and says that the western “Thank you” is actually more preferred over “na li na li”.

For yours truly, this very qianxu thing is often a stumbling stone. In 2002, he was taken to task on a Mac forum in China (which shall remain anonymous) after he was too “visible” as the President of the Beijing Macintosh User Group, where he was, in essence, “brainwashed” into being humble. (His Mac group got nowhere, in fact, until he was qianxu-ized.) Encounters in 2007, however, would see David qianxu even in front of expats.

He now manages it both ways — first by being qianxu and then falling back on the refrain “Thank you”, with the added qianxu if needed. He admits it’s still a potential tripping stone, but — he’s getting places…