About China blogosphere, travel, and entrepreneurship

I tend to give special days special names, like David Day for a certain day in January (when yours truly was “created” aka born), Honey Day (for St Valentine’s Day), and now, Mom Day and Dad Day. It’s a David Feng tradition — what more can I say? David Feng naming innovation… or something like that.

Onwards. This Mom Day special of our famous Mind the Gap series is here because — well, today’s Mom Day! Happy Mom Day first of all to my mom — a one and only mom who made my 26 years all that bit more special. In this special, I’d like to point out to some special characteristics about moms and Chinese culture.

• In China, Mom and Dad are The Authority. Little to nothing gets done when Son or Daughter wants to buy the latest-and-greatest Lego but Mom and Dad shake their heads. The Authority also requires you to call them by Mom or Dad — never names like “David” or “Tracy”. (Nope, I don’t have a girlfriend called Tracy right now, and I’m not married as I speak — certainly not with kids. I could have used any two names, by the way…) I’ve seen kids call Mom by their name in the West — this is rarer than rare in the Chinese world.

• It’s nin, not ni. Mom and Dad are respected, and to some extents, “feared” in more traditional Chinese society. The average ni (你), which means “you” on equal terms, is at times replaced by nin (您), which is like Sie in German or vous in French. When speaking to in-laws, in particular, the nin is much more visible (or audible).

• The average kid in China is told that “the only good person on the planet is Mom”. This is not just the name of a song (世上只有妈妈好), but also holds true, especially for your dynamic David. Mom has seen me in sun, clouds, and T-storms, so to speak, but just about every time, she got what I was thinking about. We shared a few moments that were really special. Mom guided me through my past 26 years, bringing me up and making me the David Feng I am now. Her food, by the way, has led many a David Feng Mom pal suggest that she open up a restaurant — for real.

• On the other hand, earning the big bucks and (to some extents) the cigarette is never too far away from the average pic of Dad. Chinese men smoke incredible packs of cigs on a too-regular basis, making your no-smoking-no-discussions-allowed co-blogger as a Dad-to-be a too-notable exception. This guy does no cigs, no beer, no wine, no spirits — in essence, “no nothing”. On healthier topics, Dad is also the guy that’s supposed to make the family go ’round (I’m sparing you of the catchphrase “Money makes the World go ’round” here).

• Finally, Chinese society is still very much Men Before Women, so the average “Dear Mom and Dad” would land the son or daughter a very odd look from the traditional Chinese Dad (yours truly has been through this before, and avoids it by using the niftier, although more official-sounding “Dear Parents”). In Chinese society (especially with traditional parents), it’s more “Dear Dad and Mom”.

So here’s a quick look at the Gap with Mom Day characteristics. Happy Mom Day!