It’s Christmas time! Yes, obviously a bit too — if we may please — obvious. You can’t escape Santa now, 1978 reforms be thanked.
(Wait. We just celebrated 30 years of the 1978 reforms? Santa’s been in the Jing for 30 years already? Wow… that was fast!)
Of course, you know it’s Christmas as of late — you’ve heard all about it! Nope, Xinhua won’t do a Christmas special by the Chinese president, and don’t expect your two faithful mouthpiece newsreaders to dress up like Mr and Ms Santa over Christmas. Nope, what we’re on about is the air of Christmas (or excess of it) — in what they’re playing over the loudspeakers. In many a restaurant, shopping mall, or even in your local Starbucks.
It’s Christmas. You can hear it. Get used to it.
Except for one thing: the Christmas yodelling.
Nope, yours truly can’t sing. (He actually can, but he won’t brag about it in open.) But Christmas tunes everyone can do. And precisely that is what’s taking over town as of late.
Far from broadcasting the horrifying news of the Sichuan quake earlier in the year (grabbing my bottle of ice tea while listening to casualties of those trapped in Beichuan was certainly not — pardon the pun — my cup of tea), the hifi assemblage over town have united — and are churning out Christmas tunes by the freightload.
There’s the emotional (“One little Christmas tree, standing all alone…”), the familiar (“Jingle bells, jingle bells…”), the very Christmassy animals (“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”) and the combo of XMAS and New Years (“War is over, if you want it…”)
Yours truly has been out of action as he has been (as is usual) sucked back into the Subway (where he — supposedly — rightfully belongs). Of course, this time, the excess Subway rides is for something: he’s doing a book on the Beijing Subway. And this means work while others relax.
But hey, he’s got to get something for lunch. And here’s where all this crazy Christmas music comes in. Here’s a sampler of just what he has heard, over lunch and while roaming at large:
• Jingle Bells in Chinese — Lotus Supercenter next to Beiyuanlu North Line 5 station
• A mix of Christmas tunes in all Starbucks (the one by Lishuiqiao plays some especially nice and emotional tunes)
• Frosty the Snowman — Wu-Mart hypermarket next to Huixinxijie Beikou
• Yet another mix of XMAS-sy tunes at Oriental Plaza near Wangfujing
• Christmas tunes even outside Beijing (even @TheSpotCafe in Tianjin is in the mood)
…should we go on? The thing is — if you think the aural Christmas cacophony is bad enough — oh, I’ve got some bad news for you: The next station is Chinese New Year. Please get ready for your arrival.
Consider yourself lucky to be treated to aural therapy in English for Christmas. The whole thing becomes all-Chinese as Chinese New Years comes around. It can get scary.
Keywords to watch out then: Gongxi Facai (恭喜发财; literally May You Prosper); Cai Shen Dao (财神到; literally The Fortune Gods Are Here); Xi Yang Yang (喜洋洋; In A Good Mood); and much, much more.
(To roll out the refrain Capitalist China at this point would be a bit too — well, redundant. It’s no secret that the Chinese know how to more than make a buck or two. And why at least I’m bullish that the Chinese will weather the financial crisis — and come out alive, kicking and surprising folks at the end of the tunnel.)
Total relief comes after the Lantern Festival on the 15th day of the new Chinese year, when the whole festivities are over. Then, they’ll play what they used to play back in mid to late November.
Consider yourself lucky that they don’t play The Internationale for International Labor Day or the PRC anthem for October 1st… (Word’s out that a few who work at the Olympic Exhibits at the Beijing Olympic Green were subject to music sounding very much like the PRC anthem — over and over — eight hours a day. They must know how to play that stuff off by heart by now…)
Oh yeah — and by the way, an early Season’s Greetings from CN Reviews! (This’ll be a familiar refrain from now on. We just hope that we don’t end up parroting this phase more than they do them XMAS tunes in the Jing…)
