Random Observations Leaving China…Part 1
After a long spell in Shanghai, and aside from a few trips to Hong Kong and Taipei here and there, I’m now writing from beautiful Los Angeles. Officially, I’m here to visit family and friends. Unofficially, I’m here to get a healthy helping of good old American mad-cow. Neither In-N-Out nor Claim Jumper will know what hit them (unless I can somehow make it to the House of Prime Rib).
Of course, I’m not here to bore you with my culinary misadventures in the States. Instead, I wanted to take this opportunity to share my random observations as I made my way out of Shanghai and transferred through Beijing before collecting my luggage at Los Angeles.
Part One: Shanghai Metro Pat-down

After the recent bus explosion fire that had quite a few Chinese friends wondering if the Shanghai Metro system was safe from those dastardly Xinjiang terrorists, I actually wondered: just what sort of security does Shanghai have to stop random terrorists from running into People’s Square and creating an unfathomable disaster. That is, other than the logic disaster of trying to board before letting people off…during rush hour. Rarely have I seen any reasonable security in Shanghai’s metro stations, and it honestly looks all too easy for someone with hidden explosives and malicious intent to just walk on in and obliterate the mob of humanity that uses the metro system daily. With the Olympics quickly approaching and Chinese domestic media scaring the populace with occasional reports of terrorism threatening to derail (heh) China’s rightful ascension to international glory, I thought they’d ramp up security or something. It never felt that they did…
…until I, of all the harmless-looking people in the world, rolled my luggage into the metro station this past Tuesday afternoon.
As I fumbled to stuff my 10 kuai into the ticket vending machine, a station attendant immediately and briskly walked over to me. At first, I actually thought she was coming to offer, gasp, customer service! Pleasantly flattered, I quickly tried to politely wave her off to let her know there’s no need as I understood how to use the machine. But no, she neither cared where I was going or whether I knew how to pay for fare; she just wanted me to open my luggage to show her the explosives I was surely hiding. Oh.
I, of course, complied. I set my luggage down and flipped it open. Interestingly, she didn’t seem too bothered by the brick-like bulk hidding in one corner of my luggage wrapped mysteriously in yellow graphing paper and a baijiu giveaway bag. I mean, national product or not, it could’ve been flammable baijiu, a fatty amount of explosive C4 plastique, or something equally dangerous, like 6 month F visas. No, instead, she poked warily at my Calvin Klein Escape deodorant. I quickly explained its purpose for masking unpleasant, women-luring, body odor. Confounded, she had no choice but to let me continue with my journey.
Four kuai ticket in hand, and suitcase zipped shut again, I quickly entered the station. I glanced back only briefly, you know, to make sure I wasn’t being tailed, due to my pleasing aroma, and made my way towards Shanghai’s Pudong International Airport.



If you’re coming to Shanghai, you’ll most likely be arriving through Pudong International Airport (PVG). Located 30 km east of downtown, it took over most international flights from the older Hongqiao Airport (SHA) when it first opened in 1999. It is big, it is modern, and the architecture is, uh, big and modern.






