Hong Kong

Review: In HK, when you do not have a job, you can’t eat so to speak (手停口就停). Everyone is into investing. Artists need to work, and do not dare fall in love nor take a rest. Moonlighting is very common. Fast news or tabloids sell.

TV: A lot of housewives spend their time watching television. ATV (Asian Television Limited) and TVB (Television Broadcasts Limited) are favorite channels. But everyone is so busy that they only have time to listen to the radio. Because of this, this city has only up to 13 channels.

Fast foods: Hong Kong is the Chinese city with the widest variety of Western fast foods. McDonald’s advertises throughout the year.

Walking speed: The city is not called a dynamic city for nothing. At the turn of the green light, one can immediately hear the surge of motorists. And at every intersection, there is always a group of people waiting to charge.

Alcohol consumption: Besides Lan Kwai Fong, the tables in Hong Kong do not really have alcohol. It’s actually more of malt.

Hong Kong

Daily schedule: Work hours are from 9am to 5pm, but OT is a favorite mantra among the Hongkongese. There are 2.3M passengers using the subway daily from 6am to midnight. At this rate, the night club is also crowded.

What are the streets like during work time: Hong Kong ranks second in Asia as the most work-efficient city with little or no workers leisurely strolling the streets during work time. Majority of those who shop are actually mainland tourists. During this year’s Chinese New Year Festival, the mainland tourists alone brought RMB 270,000,000 income.

Job-hopping frequency: The civil servants do not quit their jobs. As for the private citizens, they change careers anytime due to the economic boom, job layoffs, and salary issues. Around 30% youngsters (aged 18 to 24) become entrepreneurs at those ages.

Fitness: They rarely exercise with more and more having eye and digestive system problems.

Telephone: When they do have time to chat, they talk more or less about work every time.

Love: The number of couples getting married is getting lower. The divorce rate is getting higher. The number of single parents have increased by 7% as compared to ten years ago. The trend is that the women wants to live in together with their partners. The guys want to get married. Go-Con is very popular. It’s a Japanese dating culture where men and women mingle in single parties.

Suzhou

Review: First in the country to attract foreign investors–through its number of human capital. It is also becoming the world’s factory shaking the positions of Dongguan and Shenzhen. Suzhou is also a tourist destination. It is because of the people working that the city is developing. Many of the workers are paid using piece-rate wages.

TV: People here watch a lot of TV. It’s like their emotional nourishment.

Fast foods: A lot. But there are more factory canteens.

Walking speed: Some people say that Suzhou is like a frame on wheels. There are two kinds of Suzhou: the industrial Suzhou and the classical Suzhou. The former is in a hurry, while the latter is graceful.

Alcohol consumption: Low. Shiquan Street‘s wine is no match for Suzhou’s (水天堂) tea.

Suzhou

Daily schedule: Conservative time-table. Model for proper rest and work time. Their policy is to have enough rest to go back to work.

What are the streets like during work time: Many people are concentrated on Guanqian Street and Renmin Road. They are mostly tourists from Hong Kong. The locals do not wish to be 168 (The laid-off workers in Suzhou are given renumeration wages of RMB 168, but it has since increased.).

Job-hopping frequency: Generally because Suzhou has an export-oriented economy, business is more or less good. No reason for workers to change jobs.

Fitness: There is still room for exercise. Some buy gym memberships, while others treat their manual labor as exercise already.

Telephone: Busy. They use the telephone for entertainment and as a way to interact with each other.

Love: The business of matchmaking is good here. The wedding photography industry is also developed. Marriage is busy. Either they get married and start a career or start a career and get married.

Shenzhen

Review: People are getting busier and busier. Quite a lot of people choose to open their own shop, company, or studio.

TV: Not a lot, because of the abundant night life. For those who still want to watch television, they have one channel that talks about business and investments, two channels if you want to learn Cantonese, and finally three channels for simply relaxation.

Fast foods: There seems to be a fast food “invasion”. There is even a fast food internet network in Shenzhen.

Walking speed: Before, it was fast. But now it is considered slow due to the crowded streets. People are impatient–cannot tolerate those walking slowly.

Alcohol consumption: High. Shenzhen is where the Northerners and Southerners converge. The Northerners can drink. The Southerners dare to drink.

Shenzhen

Daily schedule: Similar to Hong Kong. But the night life takes a lot of sleeping time. In fact, the people in this city lack sleep.

What are the streets like during work time: Populated, because work is everywhere.

Job-hopping frequency: High, because there are a lot of work opportunities.

Fitness: The use of a private car to go everywhere has increased. Concern for individual fitness has become sparse.

Telephone: Talking on the phone is a common sighting in the streets. It has become a necessary channel especially for work.

Taipei

Review: During the height of the economic boom, everyone is suddenly eager to look for work. The working class feels a lot of pressure. Travel is considered a form of escape.

TV: Many Taipei locals love watching television, maybe it is because there are a lot of entertainment gossip. They enjoy watching the antics of the indispensable variety show hosts Chang Hsiao-yen, Chang Fei, Hu Kua, and Jacky Wu.

Fast foods: Many but most are considered “slow” foods or the everyday type of meals. The ones sold in the night market are notable also.

Walking speed: Generally fast paced. An analysis of the people using the Taipei metro daily says that on average, 60 to 80 people walk past the ticket gate per minute.

Alcohol consumption: High.

Taipei

Daily schedule: Half of the population works from 9am to 5pm. The other half works from 5am to 9pm.

What are the streets like during work time: Taipei is always very populated.

Job-hopping frequency: High. Whenever there is a new book released on motivation and the workplace, there seems to be a spike on people looking for jobs.

Fitness: Not so much. Because work and play really stresses out the body.

Telephone: It’s stuck to their ears for 24 hours. Using the telephone equates to socializing.

Love: Falling in love is treated seriously, whereas marriage is treated lightly. It’s more of looking for romance and a new kind of feeling and experience.

Guangzhou

Review: Changes bring more jobs in Guangzhou. Property prices are so high, oftentimes you have to “tiptoe” to reach it (form of expression to mean really, really high). You feel free, no one cares about your personal affairs, each person’s life is very busy. When you don’t feel free, because you worry about going to work and the traffic jam, you think about being your own boss.

TV: Not so much, because many people have to work overtime. But Guangzhou is developed when it comes to print media. So there are lots of newspapers to read everyday.

Fast foods: Many. These basically cater to two extremes, the shantytown crowd and the white-collar workers.

Walking speed: Slow, because there is no good walking space. Most take the taxi or metro.

Alcohol consumption: Low

Guangzhou

Daily schedule: Conservative schedule, but fairly diversified. In fact, many sleep and wake up late.

What are the streets like during work time: Busy. Most of the idlers are SOHO (small office home office), students, or those who have no work and/or looking for work.

Job-hopping frequency: High. Because there are always new companies recruiting people. Jobs are oftentimes better-paying.

Fitness: Lessened. This is a city which has no time for exercise. But those exercising near the Pearl River are mostly the elderly.

Telephone: Used for working and making appointments.

Shanghai

Review: The catchphrase of this city is internationalism. Many go to Shanghai to work and “pan for gold”. Working is number 1, whereas spending is number 2. The people of this city are smart when it comes to making investments and buying luxury goods. But when it comes to buying property, their money seems to flow like water.

TV: Not so much, even the use of  internet and making phone calls. They read more newspapers and enjoy watching the world pass by.

Fast foods: A lot. The number of convenience stores is proportional to the growth of the city.

Walking speed: Fast. There are almost no idle people in the city. Mostly tourists and passersby.

Alcohol consumption: Low. The pursuit of this city is elegance rather than intoxication. Also, the hottest night spot is Xintiandi. The wine there is all foreign-flavored.

Shanghai

Schedule: They have a conservative time table. Work is considered important.

What are the streets like during work time: Populated. Except for Pudong, everywhere is a working area. The crowd in Nanjing Road would only disappear if there is torrential rain or a SARS epidemic.

Job-hopping frequency: High. The Shanghainese are always looking for something better.

Fitness: Not so much. Shanghai has never been an exercise-kind of city. Much worse than Dongbei.

Telephone: Used for work and making appointments with people. Most of the time, email is used.

Love: They consider a lot of factors when it comes to marriage like the person’s hukou and background. Expectations are high. For example, their concept of a good man is if the man goes to the market at 4am to buy food.

Shanghai may be part of the top 50 most expensive cities to live in the world, but it is not the most expensive city in China to get married. And it is not Beijing either. China’s capital may have placed only 55 in ECA International’s cost of living ranking as compared to Shanghai which placed 46th, however it is said to rank second in the expensive-to-get-married-city scale in China.

Getting Married In Shanghai

1. Decent housing (80 square meters and above) with an average price of RMB 20,100 per square meter; RMB 20,100 x 80 = RMB 1,608,000.

2. Renovation and interior design for a 100-square-meter floor area; RMB 150,000.

3. Household appliances and furniture; RMB 100,000 (though some women get this in the form of dowry).

4. An ordinary car; RMB 100,000.

5. Wedding banquet with 25 tables in an average-star hotel; RMB 1,000 x 25 = RMB 25,000. Subtract to that the RMB 1,200 average wedding money (hongbao) you will get per table. You get to at least keep RMB 1,200 x 25 =  RMB 5,000.

6. Honeymoon to Hong Kong or Macau with the main destination to Hainan; RMB 6,000 travel expenses per person thus for both husband and wife- RMB 6,000 x 2 = RMB 12,000.

7. Courting stage for 2 years. This includes going out on dates, buying of gifts, entertainment, travel, giving of gifts to girlfriend’s parents. Average of RMB 1,800 per month. So for 2 years- RMB 1,800 x 12 months x 2 years = RMB 43,200.

In summary, total cost is RMB 1,608,000 + RMB 150,000 + RMB 100,000 + RMB 100,000 – RMB 5,000 + RMB 12,000 + RMB 43, 200 = RMB 2,008,200.

Getting Married In Beijing

1. Decent housing near the 6th Ring Road (80 square meters and above) with an average price of RMB 20,000 per square meter; RMB 20,100 x 80 = RMB 1,600,000. In Beijing, prices of real estate inside the ring road are considerably higher than other parts of town.

2. Renovation and interior design for a 100-square-meter floor area; RMB 150,000.

3. Household appliances and furniture; RMB 80,000 (though some women get this in the form of dowry).

4. Standard car; RMB 120,000. (The Hyundai Elantra is preferred.)

5. Wedding banquet with 200 guests (20 tables) in a 4-star hotel; RMB 200 x 200 = RMB 40,000. Subtract to that the RMB 2,000 average wedding money (hongbao) you will get per table. And you just break even.

6. Honeymoon. Beijingers refused to go to Hong Kong or Macau or Hainan. Instead, they will go to Australia or Europe or the Maldives spending around RMB 10,000 per person. So total honeymoon trip will cost around RMB 30,000.

7.  Courting stage for 2 years. This includes going out on dates, buying of gifts, entertainment, travel, giving of gifts to girlfriend’s parents. Average of RMB 2,000 per month. So for 2 years- RMB 2,000 x 12 months x 2 years = RMB 48,000.

In summary, total cost is RMB 1,600,000 + RMB 150,000 + RMB 80,000 + RMB 120,000 + RMB 30,000 + RMB 48,000 = RMB 2,028,000.

Getting Married In Shenzhen

The most expensive is said to be in Shenzhen. However, this information might not be so true anymore if we based it on housing prices alone (given the housing crisis in China). Before, the price per square meter can reach up to RMB 22,300. But the property prices in Shenzhen (just north of Hong Kong) have dropped sharply in the last couple of months which is the largest property decline across China.

Anyway, what do you think of the figures above? How realistic are they? Is getting married in China a not so realistic option?

Are you coming to Shanghai (or flying out) and want to take the Maglev to the city (or airport)? Here is all you need to know about Pudong’s ultimate superlative.

The Maglev is based on a system of magnetic levitation technology designed by the German company Trans-Rapid. It is the fastest way from the city to the airport as its highest speed can reach 431kph in just under 8 minutes. However, it is not the most convenient; because it only starts at Longyang Station all the way to PVG. From wherever you are, you have to take another form of transport system going to Longyang. Or if you are coming from the airport, you have to step off at Longyang and take something else  to wherever you are going.

The steps shown here start from Longyang. But it is just the same banana if you are coming from the airport–just reverse everything.

Before proceeding, have you checked this post already? Clear out your options first on how you want to go downtown from PVG before deciding on taking the Maglev.

From Longyang to PVG

Take Metro Line 2 (the green line) and get-off at Longyang Station. When you reach Longyang, look for the sign pointing to the Maglev station.

Sign pointing to Maglev station

You might want to say goodbye first to whoever is dropping you off at the station, because they would not be joining you as they need to exit the turnstiles and pay if they do. Hehe.

Goodbye...

Proceed to Exit 4

Just follow the arrows towards Exit 4 and you will see a McDonald’s to your right and a Chinese fast food to your left.

Go up the escalators…

Up, up the escalators

…and buy your ticket to a very fast ride.

You will immediately see the ticket booth when you reach the second floor. Do not worry about not speaking Chinese. English-language signs are all over the place.

The ticket booth

How much is the fare?

For single-trip, it is RMB 50; but if you show your plane ticket, it is only RMB 40. However, if the plane ticket you brought with you does not fly on that same day (like I did), heave a sigh of relief if you have your public transportation card with you; because that will also entitle you to a RMB 40 ticket (like I did).

What I did was, I raced back down to the ground floor again towards the service center to deposit money in my transportation card.

I think these people were thinking of the same thing.

Anyway, round-trip is RMB 80. Now why would you want a round-trip ticket if you are flying out of Shanghai anyway? Because a round-trip ticket is valid for 7 days. You can fly out then come back to Shanghai within the 7-day period.

There are VIP prices too, by the way. Single-trip is RMB 100, and round-trip is RMB 160. All round-trips are valid for 7 days. All discounts are 20% less if you present your plane ticket of the same day or use your public transportation card to pay.

Basically, if you have a VIP ticket, your cabin interiors are nicer; and that’s about it. So decide too if those 7 minutes of your life are worth double the price of a ticket.

In summary–

• Single-trip economy is RMB 50. VIP is RMB 100. Validity is 1 day only.
• Round-trip economy is RMB 80. VIP is RMB 160. Validity is 7 days.
• Souvenir-ticket (for single-trip and economy only) is RMB 55. This is valid for 2 years.

Why is there a special souvenir ticket?

Because they take the tickets when you exit the train. If you want to keep your ticket, buy the souvenir ticket. However, if you are a cheapskate (like me) and is just contented with taking a picture, then just buy the regular-priced ticket.

But if you will be using your public transportation card…

…you do not get a ticket. Just swipe your card like what you normally do. So I just took a picture of my friend’s single-trip economy ticket.

Single-trip economy

Frequent passengers

If you think you will be riding the Maglev quite often, you could buy the RMB 900 ticket good for 30 single trips valid for 1 year from date of purchase.

You can also buy your tickets at the vending machine.

Ticket vending machine

Time table

Take note of the following boarding times and speed increases of the Maglev:

Time table & maximum speeds

Before you board, you might want to check out the Maglev museum at the ground floor. The museum is composed of “Birth of Maglev”, “Maglev Shanghai Line”, “Maglev Technology”, “Maglev Superiorities”, and “Prospects for Maglev” halls.

This is free for Maglev passengers.

The trip is less than 8 minutes. But if you think you would go hungry during that time, well, the station has a small store in the second floor where you can buy last-minute snacks before checking-in–aside from the ones at the ground floor of course.

Small store

Boarding

Like the airport and the metro, there is also luggage-check before boarding the train.

Security x-ray

And there are group check-ins too.

Group check-ins

If you have been to the train or metro station before, the Maglev boarding area does not look any different.

Before riding the train

Once you get in the train, there are places for you to secure your luggage.

Luggage compartments

Lots of seats. Seat anywhere.

We started at this time…

Actually around 14.45. But, dude! Look at the speed after one minute!

Top speed!

…and stopped at this time.

And it was over just like that.

What was the experience like? Well, there were about 2 sharp curves. And it was really fast. Probably if the time was longer than 8 minutes, the ride would not feel as comfortable.

Is it worth a second try? If my time is really short, like I need to get to a business meeting or whatever, the Maglev will save me time definitely. PVG metro station to Longyang will take about 50 minutes already. However, maybe I should be taking an earlier flight instead so as not to stress myself with that time difference.

Here’s where I stand on this issue.  I find this to be one of the most tired debates out there, and usually embraced by people fresh off the boat in China.  I was certainly like that too, easily impressed with gleaming infrastructure, modern airports, roads, and beautiful office buildings in first-tier cities.  Even to this day, about 95% of my time in China is spent in either Shanghai or Beijing, so naturally that’s the way I would frame the question of geographic and regional diversity in China, right?  It’s always easy to have just 2 choices to debate:  Red vs. Blue, North vs. South, China vs. the West, Lakers vs. Celtics, Manchester United vs Liverpool, paper vs. plastic, Mac vs. PC, iPhone vs. Android, innovation vs. copycatting, black vs. white, with us vs against us…perhaps it is just a fundamental structure of our brain that we must approach things in a Hegelian dialectic.  Inspired by Hegel, Marx himself embraced and ultimately fetishized this concept into a grand conception of historical dialectic materialism.  Clearly Marx was dead wrong.  (Or was he–like Mao–also 70% correct?)

Very Shanghai

An Essay on Shanghai vs. Beijing by Frank Yu

But lets set aside pretentious philosophical and historical references (oh but it was fun) and get back to Frank Yu, and the Shanghai vs. Beijing question.  Here I pull from Frank’s words:

In a world of generalizations this has to be one of the most sensitive questions in China today when speaking with people (ask them where they are first).

I am a bit biased since I live in Beijing and have obvious respect for both the city and the people of the Northern Capital.

I believe the previous answers were answered quite well so I will focus on more subjective and personal differences. (So if they sound like over-generalizations…they are. Take them with a grain of yan.)

The people of Beijing and Shanghai.

Beijing people are a people that clearly live in and love the history of their ancient city, even from back when it was called Yanjing.  They know full well that this is the seat and center of power in China. So Beijing people are people of the past.

Shanghai people love modernity and are proud of their rapid ascent from fishing village to a global modern city in a century or less. They are proud of their achievements but even more, they are proud of their future. Shanghai people live in the future and dream of bigger and better things for themselves and their city. Shanghai people adopt and embrace the change. No surprise that Shanghai has been a hotbed of radical ideas, fashions, and money for China.

Attitude towards foreigners and other Chinese. (This is my opinion.)

Both residents of their cities are quite proud of their cities, their food, and their particular way of speaking Chinese. Beijing folks speak their Mandarin with an arrr sound at the end and change words like gongyuan to gongyuar or the word Men to sounding like Mer. Although Mandarin, this is known as the Beijing accent.

Shanghainese have their own language group which is mostly unintelligible to other Chinese. Shanghai people use this as a way of identifying each other but also to exclude other Chinese in the conversation. You can meet many foreigners who speak Mandarin, but few speak Shanghainese so its clearly a way for Shanghainese to differentiate themselves from the rest of China.

When it comes to foreigners (Western ones), the Shanghainese are very service-oriented and defer to foreigners and their money very well. However, like many former colonial cities and countries in Asia, they serve but in a way despise foreigners and the shame of former colonial sins in their own city.  Of course, I would not really say they hate foreigners, but deep down they have some hangups with them and hope for a day when the tables are turned and they can be the big monetary cheese being served by others. English and Western styles can be easily found in Shanghai.

Bejing folks really have no issues with foreigners except that burning of the winter palace thing. They look to foreigners as equals and not as former colonial vassals. Since Beijing has been invaded by so many foreign powers and eventually turned them into Chinese mirrors of themselves, Beijing people find foreigners curious and quaint and can actually warm to them in time. Friendships between foreigners and local Beijing people are not uncommon since Beijing people are quite confident of their social and cultural superiority to the world that they don’t mind letting foreigners into their world. That said, the Beijing concept of service is terrible on a global standard and the level of English is quite poor for a “global” city. Beijing people have a term to describe themselves from the Chinese people from other provinces in China who come to Beijing to work and study: Lao Beijingren, “Old Beijinger”.

Styles and taste.

Very Beijing...for now

Shanghai people are more sophisticated in terms of styles and taste. Their food is delicious and their fashion sense excellent. Hairy Crabs and Steamed Soupy Meat dumplings are some of the best cuisine in the world.

Beijing can be described as a bunch of small dusty villages that merged together under the shadow of the Forbidden City. Beijing people are kind of set in their ways and lifestyles, not as money-oriented as the Shanghainese are. Beijing people have almost an imperial love and facility with bureaucracy with politics and process. True Beijing folks are not entrepreneurial; they love the status of being in government or the arts, or being a scholar due to the many universities in the city. That said, Beijing people sometimes come off as simple and unsophisticated from their manners and dress. Don’t let that fool you; just because Beijing people look a bit old school, doesn’t mean they aren’t quite astute and byzantine in their plans and way of thinking.

Beijing food is divided into two styles: imperial style and homestyle. The emperor, nobles, and mandarin elites ate imperial style with fine ingredients and complex ways of cooking it. Many of the fancy food in banquets and restaurants serve imperial style food. Peking Duck may be the most well known of these dishes.

However, most Beijing people eat home style dishes which are noodles with some sour brown gravy put on top. The ingredients are simple and cheap and not really appealing for those with discerning palates. Unless it’s deep fried and buried under a layer of some brown sauce, then it’s not home style.

Overall…

Overall, both cities have a lot going for them. Calling one a better city really depends on you the person and your lifestyle preferences. A great way to endear yourself with residents of the city is to start a conversation degrading the other. This seems to be a favorite pastime of conversation. If in doubt, make fun of the city of Wuhan.

Why pick on Wuhan?  As a southerner, I’ll embrace my fellow southern bretheren in Wuhan, and propose that the country folk of Harbin be the target of good-spirited teasing instead.  But we can all agree that our Western friends from Xian are honest and sincere, right?

So where do you stand?

Shanghai Starbucks Xintiandi photo credit: Iknowthiscity.com

Beijing Nanluoguxiang photo credit: Flickr ksquare

Aside from the sudden sprout of the Expo volunteer stations or information booths…

…now this is what they meant when they said there will be a lot of Expo off-site volunteers needed during the World Expo duration.

The sign says “Walk on the left, stand on the right.” For the number of people passing by People’s Square everyday (I myself included), I don’t think people really minded them unless you have all the time in the world.

Security in the metro suddenly tightened too. Before, I could just swift through the entrance/x-ray gates even with my not-so-small bag. But I tried that last week, and the security guard literally blocked his hand in front of me. I could have cried sexual harassment, but no one would have cared or noticed anyway. They were like 5 of them including the lady inspectors.

Still, don’t you think this has potential to be a ringtone for your mobile phone? TIP: You have to repeat this over and over again.

The Beijing Railway Station has also implemented security checks to ensure the safety during the Shanghai World Expo. From today until November 15, packages brought aboard the train are all subject to stringent measures.

It is understood that  items such as knives, hammers, and scissors can not be brought inside the train. This notice was actually posted just yesterday at the entrance of the station. According to the notice, aside from the banned items such as the flammable, explosives, poisonous, corrosives, radioactive, infectious pathogens, firearms, and ammunitions, all kinds of knives like kitchen knives, fruit knives, and even craft knives are not allowed at all. Hammers and other blunt items (long objects?) are also not allowed.

So probably that’s why my umbrella was confiscated when I went to the first day trial-run of the World Expo.

Real names must be used too in all parcels. No fake names. No pen names. No misnomers.

A group of journalists were at the Beijing Railway Station 1pm yesterday and became witnessed  to more than one armed policemen patrolling the area. The notice is also posted in every ticket window in the station. Identity cards and clearances can be randomly checked too.

Anyway, when I heard my classmate gushing about the trial operation of Line 10, I thought–what about the World Expo? How do I get there using the subway?! [See, that's how my mind connects stuff.]

Now Line 13 will be the special World Expo subway line. The stops are (from north to south) Danshui Road Station, Madang Road Station, Lupu Bridge Station, World Expo Park Station, and Changqing Road Station. It links Line 10, 9, and 7 at Danshui Road, Madang Road, and Changqing Road. While Lupu Bridge Station only allows passengers to get off after passing the park area.

The best part is–IT IS FREE OF CHARGE FOR PEOPLE WITH THE EXPO ADMISSION TICKETS!!! [If you still don't have a ticket, well, go get one!]

However, I heard that Line 13 will close after the Expo is done with and will officially open when the line is completed by 2011.

THE ULTIMATE QUESTION IS: Other than Line 13, how do you go to the Expo site using the Shanghai Metro?!

I collated the following information in hopes of making life easier for you guys:

Line 2–Jing’an Temple Station–Line 7–Yun Tai Road Station (Pudong Gaoke Xi Road Entrance)

Line 2–Jing’an Temple Station–Line 7–Yao Hua Road Station (Pudong Shang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 2–Jing’an Temple Station–Line 7–Chang Qing Road Station (Pudong Chang Qing Bei Road Entrance)

Line 2–Jing’an Temple Station–Line 7–Hou Tan Road Station (Pudong Hou Tan Entrance)

Line 2–Zhong Shan Park Station–Line 4–Lu Ban Road Station (Puxi Lu Ban Road Entrance)

Line 2–Zhong Shan Park Station–Line 4–Xi Zang Nan Road Station (Puxi Xi Zang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 1–Shanghai Stadium Station–Line 4–Lu Ban Road Station (Puxi Lu Ban Road Entrance)

Line 1–Shanghai Stadium Station–Line 4–Xi Zang Nan Road Station (Puxi Xi Zang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 1–People’s Square Station–Line 8–Xi Zang Nan Road (Puxi Xi Zang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 1–People’s Square Staion–Line 8–Yao Hua Road Station (Pudong Shang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 1–Chang Shu Road Station–Line 7–Yun Tai Road Station (Pudong Gaoke Xi Road Entrance)

Line 1–Chang Shu Road Station–Line 7–Yao Hua Road Station (Pudong Shang Nan Road Entrance)

Line 1–Chang Shu Road Station–Line 7–Chang Qing Road Station (Pudong Chang Qing Bei Road Entrance)

Line 1–Chang Shu Road Station–Line 7–Hou Tan Road Station (Pudong Hou Tan Entrance)

Do you think you’ll still get lost? Post your questions here!

But then, this man got up (puffy leather jacket with cigarette and all) and walked our way. He was pacing back and forth and then suddenly he started grabbing the chairs and display pots near the entrance. What he did next really made our hairs rise. He blocked the glass entrance with the furniture. Not the orderly blocking people normally do during closing time. [But then if you were to lock the doors, you would just use a key and a lock.]

My back was towards the situation the whole time. I dare not turn my head as everyone grew silent, and the restaurant’s music was switched off. “We are being taken hostage!” I was thinking the whole time. The manager and the servers were just standing there doing nothing. Probably the most amusing thing that point in time was I was still eating my wonton noodle soup.

My friend was already texting our other classmates in the case something happens to us. And it was really nerve-wracking. You do not know if you could even move nor breathe for fear that the man will notice you and pull something out of his puffy leather jacket. [Hey, you can never tell.]

It was definitely a thing for the movies, yet this was happening in real life. In the end, the side door was unlocked; and we immediately scurried towards it without looking back.

My friend returned a few days after and asked the servers what the thing was all about. The server’s reaction was vague. She just said, “糟糕了！”

We are in Shanghai after all, so this whole thing made me think of the Chinese triads. In Chinese movies (Hong Kong films more actually), things like this happen all the time. Ever heard of the term 黑社会or literally black societies? << 上海滩>>The Bund, anyone?

Ask your parents, they might be very familiar with this Hong Kong period drama that inspired a lot of film adaptations and sequels. In a nutshell, it tells of 2 triad members who fell in love with the big boss’ daughter. There’s action, gambling, blood—and oh yeah, sex too.

I watched the remake with Andy Lau in it—entitled what else—<<新上海滩>>. [But my mom especially liked Chow Yun Fat’s version.] And yes, there is also “Once Upon a Time in Shanghai” and Zhang Yimou’s “Shanghai Triad”. So you really cannot fault me for thinking about the worst possible thing!

There’s also “Election” starring Tony Leung (!!!) which was also set within Hong Kong’s triad society.

I guess you cannot blame the Chinese directors for making money out of gangster movies.  The Kowloon Walled City Park was actually notorious as the hideaways of the triad gangs. And there is an area in Mong Kok (still in HK) that played host to many of these scenes (in the movies of course).

Many of the “girlie” bars are said to be operated by them. And they would charge you exorbitantly (some say—even escort you to the ATM if you do not have enough cash). I just got that last tidbit from hearsays. Or I might be just watching too many movies.

According to what I have been reading, Chinese secret societies were formed for self-preservation’s sake. Wikipedia said, Qing Dynasty started it all. Seriously, many of the locals opposed the Manchurian rule and wanted to return the throne to the Hans. And well then, smaller groups were formed. Come 1949, due to the rise of the Chinese Communist Party, these small groups were forced to migrate to Hong Kong and operated from there on. Let me just quote—

By 1951, there were eight main triads operating in Hong Kong and they had divided the land accordingly to their ethnic groups and geographical locations, with each triad in charge of a region. The eight triads were Wo, Rung, Tung, Chuen, Shing, Sun Yee On, 14K, and Luen. Each of them had its own headquarters, its sub-societies and public covers. After the 1956 riots, the Hong Kong government introduced stricter law enforcement and triads became less active.

Sun Yee On: The largest triad in Hong Kong with an estimated 25,000 members. In addition to activities in Hong Kong, intelligence reports since 1994 seem to indicate that they dominate the government of Guangdong Province on the mainland.

Wo Group: There are around nine subgroups in this triad grouping with a total membership of around 20,000. Different subgroups have been known to ‘specialize’ in different activities, the Wo Shing Yee controls dockworkers, and the Wo On Lok specializes in loan-sharking, the Wo Hop To runs protection rackets, and so on. The original Wo group triad was the Wo Shing Wo, and it is the longest established triad in Hong Kong.

14K Triad: Also with roughly 20,000 members, the 14K originated with the fight by the Kuomintang against communism. Chiang Kai-Shek ordered that a league of all triad societies be established and used to fight communist forces using guerrilla tactics. The ’14′ in the name refers to the address of the original headquarters of this effort. There are over thirty subgroups to the 14K, and it remains one of the most powerful triads internationally.

Oh, organized crime looks very glamorous in the movies. But it really is not. According to Asia Times Online, the triad phenomenon is actually a global concern. Francesco Sisci presents another view point with regards to this—

The danger is that criminals create an economy parallel to the legal economy, creating entanglements that can influence the orderly proceedings of the official one. Criminals may develop political muscle to defend their illegal business interests that might bind and influence the international order, lending resources and safe havens to terrorists.

The economic reforms inspired by Deng Xiaoping eventually opened the floodgates for a market economy. But they did so without any regulatory base; changes in actual operations preceded changes in the rules. Regulations were, and still are, drafted on the basis of concrete cases – regulators try to see how things work first and then regulate based on the actual experience.

Before Deng, everything not expressly permitted was forbidden (the opposite of Western laws, under which, in keeping with the Roman tradition, everything not expressly forbidden is permitted). From Deng onward there were hefa (literally “legal”), feifa (“illegal”) and something in between that had no name but, if one was forced to, was referred as weifa (roughly “not in the law”). The three terms established three sets of behavior: the hefa was something surely and definitely approved, and it was the only sure thing, while the feifa and weifa could move.

The feifa was something forbidden but, because of the ongoing structural reforms, many things that were in a given moment forbidden could easily become weifa or hefa. For instance, there was the subletting or even the sale of the house where one lived that was allotted to one but in theory still belonged to one’s working unit. These things occurred but were widely tolerated although they were not strictly legal, or hefa.

Many social actions – arguably most of them – in China are still weifa, as many social behaviors were and still are in a no-man’s land. Meanwhile the general legal culture has moved toward the Roman conception (everything not expressly forbidden is permitted). However, there was, and still is, general confusion between what is legal and what is illegal, and there is an even larger confusion between what is morally right and morally wrong, as both Confucian and communist values have been shattered and new values have not been established in their place.

There is an elaborate ceremony to be a member of the triad. I would not know for sure how it is done of course. But I found the following 36 triad oaths to be quite interesting. This came from W.P. Morgan’s Triad Societies in Hong Kong (1960).

• After having entered the Hung gates I must treat the parents and relatives of my sworn brothers as my own kin. I shall suffer death by five thunderbolts if I do not keep this oath.
• I shall assist my sworn brothers to bury their parents and brothers by offering financial or physical assistance. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I pretend to have no knowledge of their troubles.
• When Hung brothers visit my house, I shall provide them with board and lodging. I shall be killed by myriads of knives if I treat them as strangers.
• I will always acknowledge my Hung brothers when they identify themselves. If I ignore them I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I shall not disclose the secrets of the Hung family, not even to my parents, brothers, or wife. I shall never disclose the secrets for money. I will be killed by myriads of swords if I do so.
• I shall never betray my sworn brothers. If, through a misunderstanding, I have caused the arrest of one of my brothers I must release him immediately. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• I will offer financial assistance to sworn brothers who are in trouble in order that they may pay their passage fee, etc. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• I must never cause harm or bring trouble to my sworn brothers or Incense Master. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I must never commit any indecent assaults on the wives, sisters, or daughters, of my sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I break this oath.
• I shall never embezzle cash or property from my sworn brothers. If I break this oath I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I will take good care of the wives or children of sworn brothers entrusted to my keeping. If I do not I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If I have supplied false particulars about myself for the purpose of joining the Hung family I shall be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If I should change my mind and deny my membership of the Hung family I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• If I rob a sworn brother or assist an outsider to do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If I should take advantage of a sworn brother or force unfair business deals upon him I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• If I knowingly convert my sworn brother’s cash or property to my own use I shall be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If I have wrongly taken a sworn brother’s cash or property during a robbery I must return them to him. If I do not I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If I am arrested after committing an offence I must accept my punishment and not try to place blame on my sworn brothers. If I do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If any of my sworn brothers are killed, or arrested, or have departed to some other place, I will assist their wives and children who may be in need. If I pretend to have no knowledge of their difficulties I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• When any of my sworn brothers have been assaulted or blamed by others, I must come forward and help him if he is in the right or advise him to desist if he is wrong. If he has been repeatedly insulted by others I shall inform our other brothers and arrange to help him physically or financially. If I do not keep this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• If it comes to my knowledge that the Government is seeking any of my sworn brothers who has come from other provinces or from overseas, I shall immediately inform him in order that he may make his escape. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• I must not conspire with outsiders to cheat my sworn brothers at gambling. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I shall not cause discord amongst my sworn brothers by spreading false reports about any of them. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I shall not appoint myself as Incense Master without authority. After entering the Hung gates for three years the loyal and faithful ones may be promoted by the Incense Master with the support of his sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I make any unauthorized promotions myself.
• If my natural brothers are involved in a dispute or law suit with my sworn brothers I must not help either party against the other but must attempt to have the matter settled amicably. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• After entering the Hung gates I must forget any previous grudges I may have borne against my sworn brothers. If I do not do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• I must not trespass upon the territory occupied by my sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I pretend to have no knowledge of my brothers’ rights in such matters.
• I must not covet or seek to share any property or cash obtained by my sworn brothers. If I have such ideas I will be killed.
• I must not disclose any address where my sworn brothers keep their wealth nor must I conspire to make wrong use of such knowledge. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I must not give support to outsiders if so doing is against the interests of any of my sworn brothers. If I do not keep this oath I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I must not take advantage of the Hung brotherhood in order to oppress or take violent or unreasonable advantage of others. I must be content and honest. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
• I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I behave indecently towards small children of my sworn brothers’ families.
• If any of my sworn brothers has committed a big offence I must not inform upon them to the Government for the purposes of obtaining a reward. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I break this oath.
• I must not take to myself the wives and concubines of my sworn brothers nor commit adultery with them. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• I must never reveal Hung secrets or signs when speaking to outsiders. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
• After entering the Hung gates I shall be loyal and faithful and shall endeavor to overthrow Ch’ing and restore Ming by co-coordinating my efforts with those of my sworn brethren even though my brethren and I may not be in the same professions. Our common aim is to avenge our Five Ancestors.

About the above incident, was I just overreacting? Well, a part of me wants to say yes. But then, we are in Shanghai after all…let me know what you think!

Pretty girl with new-spangled platform gates installed along Shanghai's Line 2 Metro, likely to prevent suicide jumpers.

I ride the Shanghai Metro regularly to get where I need to go around Shanghai. The buses are often too much hassle to figure out the correct route for the extra kuai or two it might save. With taxis, it’s definitely pricier and, while more comfortably, often they’re no faster than the subway for any trips not decidedly close to where you are.

Over the years, the Shanghai Metro has exploded with new lines canvassing much of downtown Shanghai, a trend that will continue for some time until we’re all living not on solid earth but on subway tunnels. Things have, believe it or not, also improved with regards to, er, civility of the metro-riding populace and experience. The old bemused to annoyed observation that the Chinese mob on and mob off the subways is still true but, again, things have gotten better.

For example, these days you will occasionally encounter a platform of people of a certain strata that will actually wait beside the opening subway doors to let the passengers out before they board. It is still rare, sure, but it happens. Frankly, I think the main reason behind the impatience to get on by those waiting has much to do with the brief duration the subway doors are open. With so many people sometimes riding the subways during peak hours, you have a lot of people disembarking the train car each time. In such circumstances, by the time they’re all out, the doors are already beeping and closing, threatening to lock you out and forcing you to wait until the next train for another shot. For many would-be riders, this presents a conundrum: “Do I let the people out first or do I try to get on as quickly as I can to make sure I actually do get on before the door closes?”

Another example of things getting better are the new lines splitting the escalators into a standing lane on the right and a passing lane on the left, not unlike Hong Kong. Those who aren’t keen to climb can stand while leaving room for the inevitable subset of riders who have the spring in their step to get where they want to go faster by climbing pass them. This compromise for the impatient does wonders in easing congestion as people exit (or enter) the station’s waiting platforms.

Escalator with signs instructing people to stand on the right and pass on the left.

Alas, of course, these new measures and improvements are inconsistently realized because they are inconsistently obeyed by the varied masses of Shanghai. Those who get it, get it, but there are still so many who simply don’t and may never get it because they’re obtuse or simply inconsiderate. They’ll continue to stand right smack in the middle of the opening subway doors to block all the people inside trying to get out. They’ll get on the left lane of the escalator and stand happily chatting with their friend, seemingly oblivious to the fact that everyone ahead of them had properly climbed up and that everyone they’re holding up behind them is glaring at them in silent contempt. Bastards and bitches like them exist everywhere, banes of human progress.

But I sure do appreciate the Shanghai Metro nonetheless. It is definitely convenient, enough for me to not want a car in dense Shanghai, despite being a hardcore petrol-head. Even with all the persistent nuisances, again, things are getting better…and I’m as encouraged by them as anyone who has seen better, more civil, more efficient behavior from subway systems of equally populous cities elsewhere.

Here, finally, is where I want to get to what I had wanted to share this entire time: my altercation with a gate-jumper yesterday exiting the Jin An Temple metro station.

A fence-hopper, close relative to the gate-jumper. Slightly more limber, equally shady.

If you’re unfamiliar, gate-jumpers are those daring individuals who decide they’re not actually going to pay for a subway ticket to ride the subway. Instead, they’re going to try sneaking in and out, hoping that no one will notice or that no one will bother stopping them. They’ll hop over or duck under the turnstiles guarding the entrances and exits of the metro station, once going in and another time coming back out. If they succeed, they’ll save anywhere from 3-6 RMB or so depending on how far their destination stop is. Unsurprisingly, you’ll get a lot of poorer folks doing this. While you’ll wonder if it’s really worth the few RMB they’d save, you also can’t help but wonder just how poor they must be for them to do such a thing for those few RMB. Of course, you’ll also have the cheapskates as well, who will simply try to do whatever they can get away with. Ride the Metro long enough and you’ll bear witness to these gate-jumpers every so often, and there’s generally little you can do other than shake your head in disdain from afar.

So, yesterday around 5:30pm, I ran into a gate-jumper face-to-face. I had reached the exit turnstiles and just swiped my stored-value transportation card to exit. The little light flashed indicating that my fare was docked and the gate unlocked for me to pass through. At this precise moment, a man suddenly appeared in front of me and tried to hop over, disregarding the fact that I was actually in his way. His foot caught one of the turnstile arms and he failed to get over, but succeeded in turning the unlocked turnstile thereby locking it again, with me still behind it, not yet exited.

A man ducking the turnstiles to avoid paying fare.

Initially, I was a little taken aback by what had just happened, wondering why there was suddenly a guy trying to get in while I was trying to get out. I mean, this is an exit, right? Can’t you let me out first before trying to come in? Of course, a split second later I knew the guy’s intentions but was still perplexed with his audacity of not just trying to cheat the system but also trying to do so against the flow of traffic. I stared at him, my eyes asking him the question, “are you stupid?” while part of me wondered for a moment how I’m supposed to get out now that he used up my turnstile turn. Much to my astonishment…

…the guy actually tries to jump over again! And again right in front of me, in my exit lane, which meant he’d then have to push his way through me into the station. Without thinking, I immediately pushed him back, with two hands, full-force, preventing him from crossing over, and sending him back down onto the ground. Traffic slowed to a crawl around me as other exiting riders took in the situation, perhaps a little surprised by my decidedly physical reaction, likely curious to see what would happen next. I stood my ground, calmly glaring my “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” question at the guy, surprised and slightly unsure how to react to my shoving him back and down. He was about as wide as me, but a bit shorter, and given the lack of moral support he could possibly muster given the circumstances, he quickly dashed to another turnstile, hopped over, and ran away into the station ignoring the bystander admonishing him for not buying a ticket and the station attendant that helplessly yelled at him to stop while muttering a few obscenities in response to all of us.

Slightly perturbed and now a few minutes late, I walked over to the attendant booth to get another ticket that would let me through the exit turnstiles and continue on my way.

Halfway through the procession of soldiers and military hardware, I fell back asleep. I’d wake up intermittently to catch glimpses I honestly didn’t care too much to remember. All the speeches, tributes, and pledges towards socialism and communism were bullshit that few Chinese genuinely subscribe to. However, their pride in the event and celebration overall cannot and should not be dismissed. Lip-service was paid as required or expected, but the significance of the event had whatever value one individually ascribed to it…and there was plenty for the Chinese to be genuinely and rightfully proud of. Sure, it was a party for the Party, but we co-op parties to celebrate ourselves and whatever we want…all the time.

The rest of my day was spent indoors lounging about as the rain fell moderately hard outside here in Shanghai. Aside from occasional jaunts online to check my e-mail or RSS reader, it would be a lazy day, a rarity amongst my usually frantic “there-is-never-enough-time” days. Online, people were writing about the parade and “goose-stepping” seemed to be the mot du jour. Others were getting themselves angry about the Empire State Building. Offline, I ate, ignored the television, and nursed what I still haven’t decided as being a cold or allergies.

Night eventually fell and despite a good dinner, gluttony reared its head and I hankered for some Coca-Cola. Not the kind that comes in a can or a bottle, but the kind from a fountain, freshly mixed from syrup concentrate and carbonated water, with ice. A McDonald’s fountain would do and there was one down the block. The rain had stopped, and walking out in the cool night air alone was refreshing.

I crossed the street in hopes of finding the usual shao kao vendor, one who would have an assortment of kebabs or skewers or chuanr arrayed before you to pick and him to cook. No shao kao vendor tonight, it seemed, only a street cook couple with their cart integrated with a gas range. Plastic stools and fold-out tables were placed around them, where people sat and ate the dishes they ordered from the vendor.

I love scenes like this, especially when there’s a gang of guys sitting around late at night, dining on assorted dishes, swilling back beer, smoking some cigarettes, and laughing. You wonder where they came from just before and what the rest of the night bodes for them. Probably not much, no bars, nightclubs, KTVs, massage parlours, or saunas for them. They’ll probably walk home together and crash, content with the moment of simple camaraderie shared. They may not have a lot of money, they may not have impressive jobs, but they enjoy life all the same.

Heading down the block towards McDonalds, I hoped to find another shao kao street vendor there. At the end of the block, I turned a corner and beheld a scene of street peddlers with their wares splayed out across the sidewalk or hung up on the guardrails and fences. Even near midnight with most of the streets empty, this street still had some young girls and women strolling by with their eyes scanning for a trinket, a pair of shoes, a new belt, or an article of clothing that might bring them that tiny bit of use or tiny bit of pleasure. There would have been far more people out earlier in the night, as this is one of the various streets in the city known for nightly congregations of unlicensed vendors and young people, couples or singles, strolling through for the bustling re nao atmosphere. It’s a date, or a night out. The girls are fashionable — not haute couture Bund glamourous — but fashionable enough for their age and economic class…and the guys travel in packs.

The backdrops are different but the phenomenon so familiar. Oh, it may be dirty and uncouth but they’re making do with what they have, and they have plenty really. They’re fulfilling the same needs and desires, living their lives. You look into each one of their faces and you’ll find a story…if you’re human enough. If you’re willing.

I’m reminded of a scene several nights ago, riding my bike back home from the gym, passing by two middle-aged men, probably in their 40-50s, sitting alone on the curb together, again nearing midnight, with nary a pedestrian around on such a big boulevard. One looked like a bao an security guard, his arms folded over his knees, his head hung and resting on his forearm, his face hidden. The other, to his right, looked to be a street cleaner, wearing a dirty orange jumpsuit, and he had his arm around the security guard. He looked to be comforting him in a sort of silence and helplessness that can only be found amongst men.

I zipped by.

I’ll never know what exactly happened to them there. What was the security guard saddened about? Was he even sad, in grief? Was the street cleaner a friend? Was he really comforting him? Did the arm around him mean anything at all? I couldn’t see their faces, but I felt, for a brief enduring moment, a connection to them. Despite our many differences, whether in class or circumstance, both real and imaginary, I could imagine myself in either of their shoes, feeling sorry for myself and feeling sorry for a friend…for whatever reason because whatever reason is important enough.

Fast-forward back to tonight and I am walking back from buying my late-night snacks a block down. Passing by a bus stop, I see a middle-aged woman, dark and wrinkled with the wear of the years, sitting down  asleep with her knees up in a dark alcove next to a closed KFC, a lone unattended mop and bucket inside the locked entrance waiting for the late-night cleaner to finish the job. Who was this lady and why was she out here alone? She didn’t seem to have much with her, but she could still pass for a homeless person taking tired refuge for the night wherever refuge can be found. What other explanation is there, at this hour with the streets this empty?

You never really know but again, a story in every face. A story in the faces of young men drinking REEB, of young women in black stockings holding up a new top displayed from a metal railing, of old men consoling one another on cold concrete sidewalks, and of old women resting wearily underneath lonely overhangs. How often do we find these stories in these people? How often are we content to settle for stories aggregated, packaged, and titled “China” and “Chinese”? How often do we care too much for the stories that are really about us and how we see ourselves instead of the stories about them and how, yes, we see them? And when do we feel not just sympathy but empathy, not just an observation but a connection?

Late late nights, and early early mornings, are some of the best moments to truly discover a city, its inhabitants, and giving yourself a chance to get that much closer. Maybe it is the relative quiet, or the relative solitude. Maybe it changes your perceptions. Or maybe you just pay attention more, for some strange, inexplicable, reason.

Images: AP, Pawel Maciejewski, and 高仓健

As the weather warms up and the humidity rises here in Shanghai, mosquitoes are again becoming a nuisance. It’s my blood after all, not their’s. In my annual battles with the nefarious little bastards (bitches, actually), I have tried all manner of tactics to defeat them, or at least keep them at bay.

The first thing I always do, of course, is to try sealing every possible entrance into my Den of Evil, but naturally they have some Kitty Pryde mutant ability to go through walls.

I’ve tried maxing out my air conditioner, hoping that the cold ambient temperature will make them go look for warmer prey, but I just end up freezing myself.

I’ve tried over-the-counter consumer anti-mosquito products like those plug-in mosquito-repellant thingamajiggers, you know, the ones where you insert some kind of chemical laced disc into an emitter you plug into the electrical socket. Yeah, I bought a pack with something like 72 discs, and I still have something like 66 discs left…because the damn thing doesn’t work.

When such passive tactics fail, one must resort to active methods. So, I started rolling up magazines and smacking the little buggers into satisfying little blood splats. When that wasn’t efficient enough (because, you know, you occasionally miss), I upgraded from the Rolled Magazine to an “ELECTRONICMOSQUITOSWATTER” (grim wand, socketed with 2 perfect topazes). This proved to be much more efficient, as you could try zapping them in mid-air without waiting for them to land.

Unfortunately, neither the rolled up magazine or electrified swatter is a long-term solution against the never-ending horde of them. You invariably find yourself standing there all night, with bloodshot eyes either scanning for the next bogey or locked onto your next target, mosquito-smacking weapon at the ready (too close for missles, I’m switching to guns), often waiting for the mosquito to fly near you or land somewhere for you to take a swing at them. Even then, each kill is a short-lived victory, as another bogey appears soon after, often buzzing in your ear the moment you’ve lied back down and tucked yourself back into bed.

I have no doubt that many people in Shanghai, China, or anywhere in the mosquito-infested world share my frustrations. To that end, I’ve gathered some intelligence on our mutual enemy via the all-useful Wikipedia, to help us better understand what we’re up against and what tactics we may employ in our on-going struggle.

Why Women Are Always Evil

The females of most mosquito species suck blood (hematophagy) from other animals, which has made them the deadliest disease vector known, killing millions of people over thousands of years and continuing to kill millions per year by the spread of infectious diseases.

Damn wimmin’…blood-suckin’ disease vectors!

Males live for about a week, feeding on nectar and other sources of sugar. Females will also feed on sugar sources for energy but usually require a blood meal for the development of eggs.

See, male mosquitoes are so cute and cuddly, feeding on NECTAR. They’re like bees…without stingers! They’re like…Shanghainese men!

When and How Mosquitos Hunt For Victims

Mosquitos are crepuscular (dawn or dusk) feeders. During the heat of the day most mosquitoes rest in a cool place and wait for the evenings. They may still bite if disturbed. Mosquitos are adept at infiltration and have been known to find their way into residences via deactivated air conditioning units.

Prior to and during blood feeding, they inject saliva into the bodies of their source(s) of blood. Female mosquitoes hunt their blood host by detecting carbon dioxide (CO₂) and 1-octen-3-ol from a distance.

So…

1. Don’t go outside during evenings.
2. Keep your air conditioning on (or cover your ducts).
3. Don’t breathe out.

Mounting The Resistence

There are many methods used for mosquito control. Depending on the situation, source reduction, biocontrol, larviciding (control of larvae), or adulticiding (control of adults) may be used to manage mosquito populations.

These techniques are accomplished using habitat modification, such as removing stagnant water and other breeding areas, pesticide like DDT, natural predators, (eg Dragonflies, larvae-eating fish), and trapping. Garlic Oil concentrate will repel mosquitos for up to 4 weeks.

So…

1. Get rid of stagnant water, you know, puddles and stuff.
2. Kill it with toxic cancer-causing chemicals of doom.
3. Get a pet dragonfly.
4. Uh…where can I get this “Garlic Oil concentrate” stuff?

Treating Battle Wounds

Many home remedies and recipes exist, most of which are effective against itching, including calamine lotion, baking soda, salt, rubbing alcohol, vinegar, and toothpaste. Rubbing nail polish (preferably clear) or deodorant on the bite will stop it from itching most of the time. Ammonia has been clinically demonstrated to be an effective treatment. Both using a brush to scratch the area surrounding the bite and running scalding hot water (around 49 °C) over it can alleviate itching for several hours by reducing histamine-induced skin blood flow.

Okay, I may have to try to deodorant thing. Not so sure about the scalding hot water thing though. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

My Personal Recommendation

The one thing that I’ve found to work pretty well is a mosquito tent (basically a mosquito net canopy) around my bed. Mine has a fiberglass frame and tucks under the mattress with three zippered openings. I just have to be quick and careful zipping open the portal, crawling onto my bed, and zipping the entrance closed again without any mosquitoes zipping through like Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum in ID4. Granted, this isn’t much use when you’re not in bed, and you do end up feeling like a caged animal (rawr!), but it’ll at least keep the mosquitoes from bothering you at the most important time: while you’re trying to get your beauty sleep.

Do you have any other anti-mosquito recommendations or mosquito stories? Share them with us in the comments below!