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My friends and family always forward me China-related news, so I’ve been sent about a dozen links to the “8 Don’t Asks“, a recent guide for acceptable conversational topics a Chinese resident can discuss with a foreign. It’s the latest in a long line of behavior changes for Beijingers to follow, starting with Queueing Day, when Beijingren were asked to please form a line for buses and subways, instead of a desperate mob. There’s been list after list of rules for taxi drivers, no-spitting campaigns and new no-smoking areas. Eating dog is banned (and apparently salad). I can’t say I really like the public spitting, but seeing a gorgeous girl in fashionable clothes clearing her throat into the gutter is part of the Chinese experience!

Queueing Day was nice, but I think the cosmetic pre-Olympics changes have gone too far.  So many of the things I’ve laughed at and loved in China are hidden during the Olympics. Wearing pajamas outside is banned during the Olympics. The beggars and shouting vendors have been Guiliani-ed away, somewhere away from prying foreign eyes. Street vendors and chatty, pajama-clad neighbors are part of everyday Chinese life, and now Olympic visitors won’t be able to see it.

I wouldn’t expect Roman Olympic hosts to follow speed limits and following distances for the duration of the Olympic Games, or expect the German hosts to relax kick back and let the Games start a few minutes late. Insert your own stereotype here, but the point is the same. Beijing is becoming less Beijing.

Why does Beijing have to lose its entire character for the Olympic Games? Why not tell Olympic visitors that when in Beijing, do as the Beijingers do?

The Olympic conduct rules seemed comical at first, an odd bit of crazy Asian news to forward around every few weeks. Check this out! Beijing banned bald cabbies! But now these rules are all-encompassing and invasive. The 8 Don’t Asks seem to roadblock any conversational topic, putting up a damper on any casual chatting, and which puts a damper on budding friendships as well. It’s strange to me that a tourist could come to Beijing and not be approached by someone wanting to practice their English. And what’s left in Beijing, without girls in crazy colorful ensembles, mad scrambles for the bus, sidewalk vendors with their trash and treasures? I’m sad that tourists, reporters, athletes and everyone else coming for the games will miss so much of this city we’ve grown to love.

Chinese residents forced to be on their best behavior, in approved clothes, discussing approved subjects, must be resenting foreign visitors, must be longing for the company to go home so they can loosen their ties, take their shoes off, and relax.  Resentment is hardly the foundation for international friendship.

For visitors, coming to an Olympic city where so many aspects of life — clothing, conversation, food, everything — are staged is only going to cause more confusion about China when the returning waiguoren tell their stories about Beijing.  Expats burn when travel writers and foreign journalists make simplistic generalization, but, with half the Beijing story hidden, I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of it. And this will only reinforce the commonly-held belief that Westerners just can’t understand China. (Or the commonly-held belief that China’s all ancient temples and KFCs. Either or!)

I found a lot to love in Beijing. Yes, I do find it funny when a Chinese coworker bluntly asks me how much my parents’ house cost or why I’m not married yet, but different perspectives are part of traveling in another country. The 8 Don’t Asks and the other Olympic etiquette rules, seem to be stopping chances for true interaction and real understanding. I don’t think Beijing should become a Western knockoff to be enjoyed by visitors. Westerners don’t need it, and Beijing doesn’t need it either.