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So we’ve shown you where the big places in Beijing’s underground maze are located. Now it’s time to show you how to get around from A to B. Thing is — you need to go underground — and the only way in is with — a ticket. (Which, for too many of us, makes sense.)

Your Weapons: Play Your Cards Right

Beijing has officially stuffed its 38-year old paper ticket system in the paper bin. Beginning June 9, 2008, no amount of hollering to get into the station with an old, paper-based ticket will do the trick: the machines do only cards, which come in two forms: Single Journey Tickets (单程票) or the Beijing Super Pass (Yikatong, 一卡通).

If your trip in the underground maze is a once-in-a-lifetime experience — as in, if it’s a sole trip in your whole life — go for the Single Journey Ticket . Otherwise, though, go for the Beijing Super Pass. The thing is a lot easier on you — for one thing, you get spared the agony of waiting in line to get a ticket or being confronted with an automatic ticket machine that demands exact change only.

Getting A Single Journey Ticket or a Super Pass

“Oh, the agony of choice.”

Don’t get us wrong: Not only is choice extremely difficult for Blackadder (from whom we stole the previous quote with our sincere apologies), but with the Beijing Subway, card-wise, it’s a real pain-in-the-neck OR gate, not an AND gate, so to speak. You can’t exactly wave two cards over the faregate reader at the same time — nope, that trick won’t work. So you’ll have to settle for just one of the two: Single Journey Ticket or Beijing Super Pass.

• Single Journey Ticket (单程票, Dancheng piao): These are easy to get at a Subway station. You can get these either from an actual, living, breathing human being, or you can get them from a working but dead, lifeless machine. Human beings will hand you a Single Journey Ticket upon payment of the universal RMB 2 fee (Airport Express excepted); the machine spits the ticket out after you’ve paid.

• Beijing Super Pass (一卡通, Yikatong): You’ll have to find someone who can breathe (not something that only throws electronic messages at you) to get this baby. Then again, with the Super Pass, you’re not eternally condemned to getting them at your Subway station. Bus recharge spots (the famous “blue houses”) and a few banks, in fact (we know China CITIC Bank does Super Passes) will be pleased to hand you over a Super Pass. Here’s the thing: they require a RMB 20 deposit plus an initial top-up of RMB 20. You can throw a pink RMB 100 note (CNY 20 deposit, CNY 80 initial charge), and say this:

“Chong bashi kuai qian (充八十块钱)”

Man Meets Machine: Getting A Single Journey Ticket

OK, so you’ve decided that you want to abandon the world of touch-and-go Subway rides and settle for a once-in-a-lifetime (maybe!) Single Journey Ticket. And you want to get this thing from a ticket machine.

First of all, stay away from machines that have the words OUT OF SERVICE or MAINTENANCE on them (it’s too bad that was the only pic we could find). No amount of banging on the screen (or the machine, neither of which are recommended) will get you your ticket. Your odds increase at alarming rates if you find a machine that reads CHANGE, NO PAPER (insert coins only), NO CHANGE (does what it says on the lid), or, best of all, IN SERVICE. (RECHARGE ONLY is of no interest to you. )The machine accepts only RMB 1 coins and RMB 5 or RMB10 banknotes in good condition — if your dog ate it, the machine won’t eat it. (We know, we know: electronic indigestion sounds horrible.)Warning:

• Don’t buy return tickets at this machine. Tickets are only good for this very station — on this very day. (Yes, those are some seriously picky machines.)
• You need to hit confirm within 60 seconds, or your attempt at tricking tickets out of the machine (even legally) gets automatically nixed. (Some people miss this and end up causing massive queues in front of these machines.)
• Dead or disabled machines (ie those that give you no change, accept no paper, or are plain dead) are common currency on Line 5 stations in the evening, according to detailled research by your Beijingologist. You’ll need human-to-human interaction to get your Single Journey Ticket there.

Grab your change (if any), and your ticket. Head out!

Man Meets Machine: Topping Up Your Super Pass

First, the bad news: if you’re anywhere between Pingguoyuan and Fuxingmen stations on Line 1, as well as a few Line 2 stations, this trick simply won’t work. Automatic Super Pass Add Value machines (充值机) are on a permanent disappearing act at these stations. Seek human assistance instead.

Now, having said that, if you’re at any other station, you’re going to find at least one machine that does Super Pass top-ups. It’s often a machine that’s just slightly smaller thanAuto Ticket Machine. And it doesn’t have a coin slot.

Insert your card, choose English, choose Recharge, and feed the machine with RMB 50 or RMB 100 notes. Then choose if you want to recharge with a receipt (orange button) or without a receipt (green button). Life sure is great if you’re on at a Line 13 station, where just about all machines double as rechargers. And life is ninth heaven-ish in Line 5 stations, where you’re allowed to top up in increments of RMB 10 — not just RMB 50.

The Only Way In (And Out): The Ubiquitous Faregates

Probably the most important thing to remember about these faregates is how you use your cards — wait, play your cards right. This next bit is all you’ll need to know:

• Single Journey Ticket people, touch in and insert out. (There’s a card insertion slot — either integrated with the “touch zone” or as a separate part of the machine.)

• Beijing Super Pass people, touch in and touch out.

The other thing that’s of note: Stand outside the white line. (This is especially true for faregates on Lines 1, 2 and Batong.) There have been countless horror stories of people dipping cards while inside the faregate, only for the machine to beep in protest and the passenger getting just about no mileage at all. (We won’t even get into the mass crowds behind the guy.)

We Hope You’ll Never Need To Use This: Fare AdjustmentWe hope you’ll never have to use these guys, but just in case you lose your Single Journey Ticket or Beijing Super Pass, you’ll need to go through the Fare Adjustment counter. The fare will be RMB 3 (which is CNY 1 more than the standard charge, “to cover costs for the lost card”).If you lose your Super Pass — all hell breaks loose. Because Beijing’s Super Pass is not a registered card. If you lose a card with any charge on it, the extra charge, leaves you forever.And you’ll need to pay the CNY 3 to get out of the system.(Sniff.)

(Want to keep one of those cheap Single Journey Tickets? Faking a loss will set you back an extra CNY 1. Be smart and buy an extra Single Journey Ticket before you head into the system. It’s up to you to make sure you keep your “souvenir” ticket away from your “in-use” ticket, unless you want to be confused at the exit faregates!

Don’t Try This At All: Fare Evasion

It’s not like the Beijing Subway wants you to ride without paying. Heck, they’ve gone to massive attempts trying to stop this.

• Subway staff police the faregates like mad. If they catch two people (not a kid and an adult, by the way) slipping in together, these guys yell and chaos breaks out. (Or nearly.)

• Line 13 faregates are super-smart. To save energy, faregates on Line 13 close only after 8 seconds of inactivity. Just you try to storm in to an open faregate, however; this thing called “infrared” instantly gets wind of your (unpaid) presence, and before you know it, the doors slam shut as you’re just about to head for your train.

• Even if you’ve gotten in without paying, you’re still liable for a penalty. The punishment for riding without paying: ten times the standard fare. Owch. Not cheap.

Olympics Special: Security Checks

Safety first: The Beijing authorities have made security that bit more pronounced. With effect from June 29, 2008 — all the way through to September 20, 2008 — if you’re doing the Subway, you’re also going to be doing Security Check.

A few pointers:

• Baggage of any kind is liable for an X-raying. If your bag is huge or massive in numbers, it goes in for the obligatory check-up.
• You’ve got to have a sip of any water you’re taking in. (Just to be sure the stuff is not — “terrorist”.)
• If you’re caught bringing in explosives, you could be in for — on-the-spot arrests. They actually have people from the police at the Security Check!

We suggest that you travel light to avoid the hassles an impromptu Security Check could bring you.

Please Get Ready For Your Arrival

Good stuff. You’ve picked your destination. You’ve gotten your ticket, touched in, touched out (or inserted out), and are at your destination.

That’s just about it — pick your exit from the platform (this is crucial, as some stations use those sinister side halls where a wrong exit will cost you another CNY 2 just to get back into the system — or a long walk), and — be on your way.